Smell the roses..

I have a secret.

I am afraid of death.

That isn’t the secret though.

I’m afraid of dying and then when people go through my online profiles they find something that talks about death in one way or another.

I am not afraid because of what they will think of whatever they find I had posted online, I’m afraid that I may inadvertently have known that I was about to die soon, without knowing. Am I making sense?

That’s the thing about fears though, they are irrational, they dont make sense. It’s a figment of our imagination, it holds us back, it makes us worry about silly things. Fears can be overcome.

Lucky for me, this isn’t a major fear that plagues me, it just comes up when someone dies.

There’s nothing like death to give you that wake up call , to make you realise what is important and what is irrelevant.

I cant help but wonder what is the point of living life to the fullest, only for your life to be taken away eventually?

I guess it’s to enjoy what’s left of your life in this world? I dunno men.

Anyway I choose to enjoy what’s left of my life, I suggest you do it to.

 

Lust has no mercy

Lust has no mercy, spotted this online and couldnt help but think how much truth there is to this statement.

Sometimes it comes out of nowhere. The way his hand brushed against your cheek after he hugged you as he said hello. The way his scent lingered on after he walked away. That moment of awareness when he placed his hand on the small of your back. The way his tongue traced his lips when he was thinking about something.  These may all be things done naturally with no hidden motives, or maybe not. Nonetheless, the seed has been planted and you start to look at them in a different light.

That is literally all it takes to plant those thoughts in your head. The best farmers however do not just sow the seeds anywhere,  they till the land and identify fertile soils to plant their seeds. (Forgive me of my farming reference is wrong, I did Agriculture like eons ago).

Expressing your desire for someone is a sure way of planting that seed of lust. Tell me, better yet, show me and my never ending battle with lust will take off.

All of a sudden the object of my desire is the prisoner of my thoughts.  The ability to make rational decisions goes out the window. Everything is based on when, where and how I will get to possess this person, be it for a second, minute, hour, or a day.  I will take whatever I can get, that’s the problem with lust.  It makes us greedy, yet not ambitious enough. I want all of you yet I am willing to accept the little you will give me.

Every moment is a constant battle. Should I create opportunities? If you bait me, should I bite? Do you want me to chase you? It’s so bloody exhausting!

Then there’s the consequences after you make your choice. This involves second guessing yourself, revelling in the blissful moment when you realised what you desired was as beautiful as you had imagined or realising that you compromised on something to get what you wanted. The worst one is when you realise your lustful thoughts drove you to make a huge mistake. The consequences of lust may be quite dire, but unless you take the leap those thoughts may never leave your head.

You can get distractions, find someone new to lust over, stay away from that person, or situations where you know you will be weak.

Lust may have no mercy, but if you exercise control over it, you can have all the power.

Tumblr induced thoughts

“Don’t compromise your ideas so that everyone ‘gets it’, but don’t sacrifice your success because no one ‘gets it”

“Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.”

“Be so blunt that they could smoke your truth”

i need a smile like this

“every woman wants to be craved for and admired but not every man is real enough to dedicate such effort on request of one girl.”

This week better rock.

Deuces.

1st of the month

July Highlights

This month was nothing short of epic!

First up there was the World Cup which ended in such a spectacular fashion. My team #GER won, ok they were only my team because I had a Germany jumper :p but I was rooting for them at the final. I watched the final with my friends who were rooting for Argentina and it was kinda sad seeing the disappointing looks on their faces.

I finally got my car back after suffering for a whole month, they solved majority of it’s issues although new ones kept springing up. All in all, I am happy with the work they did, I keep being asked if my car is new because of how shiny it looks 🙂

Celebrated the birthdays of all my July people’s, it involved a lot of free drinks and plenty of fun times. Plus cake 🙂 I partied like a champ this month, I wont even deny it, but now that the world is ending, let me be young, wild and free!

I celebrated Eid with my friend and his family, my first iftar, and it was so lovely.

When it comes to matters concerning the martians, life threw me another plot twist that I never saw coming. I am still confused about it to be honest, but iv decided to just ignore it.

June Downsides

When people make you question why your friends with them, that..

I sorta made someone cry

I have a complicated relationship with temptation, saying no when i should be saying yes and vice versa, I pray for the wisdom to know better and to stand by my decisions. The devil is a liar *Usher voice*

June Discoveries

Not all paths are meant to be taken.

I am still as clueless as ever.

Apparently according to two of my friends, I need to stop being so nice, it may be  the reason why I am still single ha!

Dont judge me for my actions just because you feel bad about your own. People need to stop being so damn judgemental, period!

Be careful of the lies you tell, because there is a good chance you will get caught.

Why do people put so much work building walls to prevent people from getting to know them? You may think the walls are protecting you, but all they seem to be doing is hiding how awesome you are.

I also discovered some cool blogs:

Style Sketches

 

Anita from Style Sketches

Thread muse

Sienna from Thread Muse

From Curves With Love

Anita from From Curves With Love

What I Look Forward To In August

Chilling out a bit more.

My friend’s wedding.

A masquerade ball I was invited for, very amped for that.

 

How was July for you? What are you excited about this month?

TGIFridays!!!

Thank God It’s Friday!!!

Friday yaaaay 🙂

I am excited about

The public holiday next week.

Today I Am Feeling

jolly 🙂

Today’s Funky Friday Theme Song Is

Anything by Sam Smith, i just love his new album.

I am craving

a certain self proclaimed brand..

I wish

I had Monday off as well

I hope

the world isnt ending like some people seem to think. There are soo many horrible things happening in the world right now.

Today’s Inspirational Quote Is

 

Have A Fab Friday!!!

Revealed turned 6!

6 years!

I opened WordPress just a few minutes ago to find that they had wished me a happy 6th anniversary! I cant believe it’s been 6 years already!

Let us look at everything I have achieved with this blog so far:

• No one has fallen in love with me because of my posts.
• I have not been nominated or won any blogging awards.
• I havent turned this site into a money generating machine.
• I havent publicised my blog and created social media pages for it.

Well, we can conclude I haven’t achieved much, lucky for me I had not set out these goals when I started blogging. This wasn’t my first blog even, I just loved to write and needed an open space where I could jot stuff down and refer to it in future.

My only goal was to have a place where i could store my memories, and my thoughts. Thanks to the internet, I hope I will never be forgotten. This is quite ironic though seeing that if I died not many people even know about this blog in the first place.

Anyhooo it’s been an interesting journey. I cannot remember what all the vague stuff was about, so do not worry I keep myself in suspense too.

I know I dont religiously blog as much as I used to, I wont even try to make any more fake promises. You just have to wait for the days when i feel really inspired, or guilty.

Here’s to many more years…

 

 

TGIFridays!!!!

Thank God It’s Friday!!!!

Last Friday was really sucky, so i am just really hoping for a good one today.

I was just reading a blog that I subscribe too, and realized the blogger must have gone through some major changes, and not so good ones for that matter. I am dying to ask what happened and whether some plans they had blogged about didnt come to pass. Is this what I do to you guys? lol Well, feel free to ask anything on the comment box if there’s something you have always wanted to ask me with regard to a post i wrote here.

Anywhooo if she blogs like I do, this space is just to vent, get your head together and say what’s on your mind without having to actually speak to anyone.

I am excited about

sleeping in tomorrow. I slept at 8 pm last night and waking up was still a problem!

Today I Am Feeling

easy breezy.

Today’s Funky Friday Theme Song Is

Shout out to all the good kissers 😉 Dont forget, lose lips sink ships!

I am craving

nothing in particular.

I wish

I was going to the coast with my friends today le sigh

I hope

I get my car back soon.

Today’s Inspirational Quote Is

I havent spotted anything particularly inspiring..

Have A Fabulous Friday!

Wagwan Wednesday

Like seriously, what is going on?

Man, it’s been an interesting couple of weeks, albeit very frustrating. My car developed more mechanical problems, it’s been 1 month and a week since it got hit and my heart broke. I keep telling people not having my car is worse than heartbreak. I hate having to depend on people and basically having no say as to where I go, and having the luxury of coming and going as i please. I am forever in the mercy of other people

But my people have really come through for me, coming to pick me up or dropping me home. I do not exactly live within the city so this kinda is a big deal so i get really touched whenever that happens. I dont think they get it when all i can say is thank you, i wasnt exactly stingy with giving people rides, but this experience has definitely made resolve to be even more gracious when it comes to giving guys lifts and stuff.

2014 has definitely been the year for making new friends, maintaining them, and the old ones is just another story altogether.

I have lost touch with some people, for some it’s good riddance, while for other’s i am just waiting to run into them and confront them about it because yes, sometimes i can be a drama queen.

When it comes to persons of interest, it definitely has been filled with lots of plot twists that I never ever saw coming. It’s been fun I must admit, interacting with different people. Sometimes I cannot help but wonder if I changed or they just got a set of brand new eyes. I think it’s the latter though, I am still the same old clueless girl it seems.

I do feel like I am smarter this year in comparison to most years. I know what I want, and what I do not want. I am also encountering a lot of honesty and people being upfront which makes this hella easier for me.

Last year at a time like this,  things happened, at a fast pace. I got hurt, but dusted myself off and went back to my good old place hopefully wiser

This year, albeit some weird things happening, I hope I do not go down the same road once again. Above everything else, I am still guarding my heart for it is the well spring of my life.

Here’s to me getting a clue, recognizing the signs that everybody else seems to see except from me, staying out of trouble, being wise enough not to repeat my mistakes, the courage to embrace change and just to continue being happy go lucky.

 

1st of the month

Gosh, 4 words during the month of June, I am so sorry 😦

I love July, this shouldn’t be brand new information for you guys. Despite the bad freezing weather, I know there are a lot of fun things in store for me.

June Highlights

I was invited for the reveal of The Capital One which was at Ebony, free food and drinks, what’s not to love about that? I proceeded to get smashed thanks to some derailers that I know, but all in all i had a great night.

This is the month I got to discover that I love what i do, I honestly never thought I would ever know what that feels like. My work now speaks for itself, and it’s fulfilling, and fun because I get to do such cool stuff. I am truly grateful to God for this opportunity, I never thought I would be here.

I discovered that Loyal by Chris Brown isnt exactly the easiest song to karaoke to, but it’s hella fun 🙂

Did you know the national park has another picnic site other than king fisher? It’s called Impala, and it’s way better, less parked. We went for a random Party in the Park with family and friends, we werent there very long though because we got there late, but we had a good time.

You know those people you run into a lot, but never talk to? I met one of those, of course they didn’t remember me, and I was lucky enough to have created a great first impression for like the ‘second’ time. I am waiting to see what will happen the next time.

One of my besties came back home, and she got me this gorge turquoise handbag, something I had actually really wanted. I dunno if i had mentioned it here, or she read my mind 🙂

My friends and I drove to Machakos for T.Tot samosas and kenchic, because the crazy traffic and insane number of people was just too much for us to struggle to go watch rugby as was the intention. We spent like 7 hours in traffic, but it was thoroughly entertaining, we met so many people, and saw so many shocking things enroute.  My highlight was definitely the 3 men who fell off a boda boda, they didnt get hurt though 🙂

June Downsides

My car got hit, and it has been in the garage for the past 4 weeks now, really hoping i get it by the end of the week, this feeling is worse than heartbreak.

My biggest woes have been due to the fact that I have been carless, this life is really frustrating.

I lost my pout polish and one of my favourite earrings last Friday, i really hate losing my things.

June Discoveries

I have awesome family and friends who have helped me during this period of being carless and taking me home and picking me up, Lord knows i leave far away so i am truly grateful.

Men are loyal until they get girlfriends, after that they make such sucky friends.

I really do not thrive when forced to engage in small talk, especially with people i am not interested in.

There are some real douche bags out there, also, some of these people we have come to know through the media are actually cool peoples.

What  I Look Forward To In July

Getting my car back.

The endless birthday celebrations.

 

*side bar*

I am seriously contemplating going natural, i am very unhappy with my hair. It’s always been thin since i started relaxing it, but now i feel like it’s even thinner. Something’s gotta give. I am now wondering whether I should transition or just do the big chop. The second option is hella scary for me because I have never actually cut all of my hair all at once so i am considering all available options. What do you think? To go natural or nah?

Have a Fantastic July 🙂

 

9: How important I think education is

Kids, go to school!