This coming Sunday, I will be 4 months short of turning 26. Ever since I turned 25, mid life crisis has never seemed realer. I have never been the goal setting type of person, so I even wonder why I am panicking seeing that there was nothing I was hoping to achieve by this age. I know you are judging me because I have never set goals for my future. My thinking is, why set a bench mark for life, when you can do whatever it is that you want at a pace which suits you? Yes, I know this reasoning is not sufficient, and I cannot even begin to defend it, but it has worked for me so far. (Even though I have not really come that far). I only have one main goal, to be successful and to create a house hold name for myself.
It bothers me that I have passed the age bracket which is referred to as ‘The tender age of’. I plan on doing something dynamic, and I fear that the older I get, the less dazzling my achievement will seem.
I look at my life for the past 25 years, and I can honestly say that I am not satisfied with what I have achieved thus far. I wish I could do more, I wish my efforts were well recognized and sufficiently compensated for. I wish I had the courage to pursue my true passions, which I realized truly make me happy.
When we were kids, all we wanted to be was grown up, the adults never told us how hard it is to be a grown up. They never told us to relish childhood because life would get harder and tougher. I honestly hate being an adult, too many responsibilities, and no freedom at all. Now I understand why Peter Pan was so against growing up. I would love to be in Neverland right about now.
There were certain convictions that I had when I was younger which have now changed. My sentiments about certain things, which previously seemed quite clever, now just seem stupid and naïve. I worry about my future, and now that the future is already here, I am definitely in a state of panic.
The worst part is, the future is not in my hands. I may work my behind off, which I already am, and it does not bear fruit, or it goes unnoticed. I may set goals, and never reach them. I may want things, but never get them.
Every day I try to remind myself that God has plans for me, plans to prosper me and not to harm me. This bible verse keeps me going, especially when the future looks bleak or when I have no idea where it is headed.
This post was originally meant to be about life tips that I would have wanted to share with the world, but all the stuff I have written has confused me lol so I really do not feel like I have any authority to advice people on how to live their lives. The only thing I can say is, as long as you are living and breathing, you are doing a good job! Keep up the good work 🙂