So after all the hating i did here i finally received my letter from the past today. As I read it i couldnt help but wonder why i was so in love with the idea of love given what i had been through the year prior. I guess it must have been me trying to be optimistic.
I am also marveling at how some of the things i had willed for myself came into fruition. This just goes to show that the whole notion of ‘what you think about, you bring about’ isn’t a bunch of crap as I had originally thought.
Knowing you, you are probably freaking out that it’s twenty days to your birthday and you are just about to turn the big 3-0. Thinking about it now still scares me a bit, but I would like to think that you are currently in a good place and having nothing to worry about as you transition into this new decade.
I hope that you are currently with someone special, openly and deeply in love. The kind of love you didn’t have to think about to confirm whether you felt it, the kind that didn’t need heart break to discover it’s what you feel. I hope you finally got the love that you deserve, the kind that melts your heart and makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
I hope this person that loves you, loves every piece of you with every fiber of his being. He considers all your imperfections perfect, and helps you grow every single day. I hope he truly makes you happy and is a perfect fit into your life. I do not know if you will be ready, but I hope this love will be the stuff marriages will be made of. Thinking about him popping the question will seem like a dream come true and not a scary nightmare.
I hope he won’t start flaking on you now that it’s your birthday, and that he has a brilliant plan in store for you, accompanied by lots of birthday sex 😉
In terms of your career, I hope you love your new job and that it is immensely satisfying. I know you will have grown immensely in your field and that you are earning a healthy salary that helps you live comfortably. No more brokenness and living beyond your means madam! I hope going to work isn’t a task but something that you look forward to everyday, and that your work environment is pleasant and your new colleagues are easy to work with and nice.
Have you gone back to the gym? How does it feel having lost 10 more Kgs? Do people look at you different? Have you changed your wardrobe? Are you going to lose some more? I hope you stayed on our fitness tip madam!
As you turn 30, I hope you have grown even more, I really hope you didn’t have to go through even more pain just to become a better person. I hope you made peace with God, I know we have been struggling with that.
I hope you still value your self-worth, and that you love yourself even more. Self love is the best love.
I hope your hair grew, that all our hardwork and nurturing bore fruit.
I know we didn’t have goals for the big thirty, but I really hope you are in a happy place with no regrets and filled with hope for the future.
Lots of Love,
28 year old me.
So a brief update of my current status based on this letter:
- I am not actually freaked out about turning 30, I am worried though that I have no idea how I will usher it in with enough razzmatazz as I would like.
- I am NOT deeply in love 🙂 Maybe lust, but that is a story for another day. I do not expect any brilliant birthday plan from any man sadly.
- I got a new job and i love it.
- No more brokeness and living beyond my means (Praise God).
- I went back to the gym this week, like 16kgs heavier smh. I cannot change my wardrobe till I lose majority of that weight.
- I did go through pain, but the kind that didnt break me but still made me stronger.
- I’m at peace. My relationship with God is still messed up.
- I love myself a whole lot more.
- My hair grew but im still having issues with it -_-
And finally, it seems I was spot on because i am in a happy place and very hopeful for the future 🙂
2017 will definitely be filled with lots of positive affirmations from me.