I joined a new gym in February and so far I am loving it. It’s convenient as it’s just next to my office, and the facilities are pretty good as well. I dont think I have ever made as much of an effort to work out as I do now, and i am already seeing results :)
I had fun celebrating the February babies that i know during this month as well.
I cut my hair a week before my birthday in January, so i joined the naptural movement. It’s been good so far, though i now get why it’s called a journey seeing that so much work is involved. I love how healthy and thick my hair is, it had really been thinning out when it was relaxed and i was never happy with it that way.
I discovered what I want to pursue for my Masters, and i got accepted at a great school :)
It’s been a hard month that i wont lie. I have never been able to adjust to change, especially when i dont know what brought it on, and if i feel like nothing needed to change. Been struggling with that and i am at the stage where something’s really gotta give.
This natural hair thing isn’t easy, people feel the need to keep touching your hair, and commenting about it. That ish needs to die.
I hate feeling like i am not the best version of myself.
The same boiling water that softens the potato, hardens the egg. It’s about what you’re made of… not the circumstances.
Self preservation is key.
How was your February? What are you looking forward to in March?
“You want me to be a tragic backdrop so that you can appear to be illuminated, so that people can say ‘Wow, isn’t he so terribly brave to love a girl who is so obviously sad?’ You think I’ll be the dark sky so you can be the star? I’ll swallow you whole.”
“you are a horse running alone
and he tries to tame you
compares you to an impossible highway
to a burning house
says you are blinding him
that he could never leave you
want anything but you
you dizzy him, you are unbearable
every woman before or after you
is doused in your name
you fill his mouth
his teeth ache with memory of taste
his body just a long shadow seeking yours
but you are always too intense
frightening in the way you want him
unashamed and sacrificial
he tells you that no man can live up to the one who
lives in your head
and you tried to change didn’t you?
closed your mouth more
tried to be softer
less volatile, less awake
but even when sleeping you could feel
him travelling away from you in his dreams
so what did you want to do love
split his head open?
you can’t make homes out of human beings
someone should have already told you that
and if he wants to leave
then let him leave
you are terrifying
and strange and beautiful
something not everyone knows how to love.”
“It’s not my responsibility to be beautiful. I’m not alive for that purpose. My existence is not about how desirable you find me.”
“give your daughters difficult names. give your daughters names that command the full use of tongue. my name makes you want to tell me the truth. my name doesn’t allow me to trust anyone that cannot pronounce it right.”
“two people who were once very close can
or grand betrayal
perhaps this is the saddest thing in the world.”
“how far have you walked for men who’ve never held your feet in their laps?
how often have you bartered with bone, only to sell yourself short?
why do you find the unavailable so alluring?
where did it begin? what went wrong? and who made you feel so worthless?
if they wanted you, wouldn’t they have chosen you?
all this time, you were begging for love silently, thinking they couldn’t hear you, but they smelt it on you, you must have known that they could taste the desperate on your skin?
and what about the others that would do anything for you, why did you make them love you until you could not stand it?
how are you both of these women, both flighty and needful?
where did you learn this, to want what does not want you?
where did you learn this, to leave those that want to stay?”
“1. I’m lonely so I do lonely things
2. Loving you was like going to war; I never came back the same.
3. You hate women, just like your father and his father, so it runs in your blood.
4. I was wandering the derelict car park of your heart looking for a ride home.
5. You’re a ghost town I’m too patriotic to leave.
6. I stay because you’re the beginning of the dream I want to remember.
7. I didn’t call him back because he likes his girls voiceless.
8. It’s not that he wants to be a liar; it’s just that he doesn’t know the truth.
9. I couldn’t love you, you were a small war.
10. We covered the smell of loss with jokes.
11. I didn’t want to fail at love like our parents.
12. You made the nomad in me build a house and stay.
13. I’m not a dog.
14. We were trying to prove our blood wrong.
15. I was still lonely so I did even lonelier things.
16. Yes, I’m insecure, but so was my mother and her mother.
17. No, he loves me he just makes me cry a lot.
18. He knows all of my secrets and still wants to kiss me.
19. You were too cruel to love for a long time.
20. It just didn’t work out.
21. My dad walked out one afternoon and never came back.
22. I can’t sleep because I can still taste him in my mouth.
23. I cut him out at the root, he was my favorite tree, rotting, threatening the foundations of my home.
24. The women in my family die waiting.
25. Because I didn’t want to die waiting for you.
26. I had to leave, I felt lonely when he held me.
27. You’re the song I rewind until I know all the words and I feel sick.
28. He sent me a text that said “I love you so bad.”
29. His heart wasn’t as beautiful as his smile
30. We emotionally manipulated one another until we thought it was love.
31. Forgive me, I was lonely so I chose you.
32. I’m a lover without a lover.
33. I’m lovely and lonely.
34. I belong deeply to myself .”
In addition to her phenomenal writing, I want to take another minute to appreciate her beauty too.
This week felt like it took forever to end! So glad it’s over!
I am excited about
Nairobi Restaurant Week!! I cannot visit as many restaurants as I would have liked because I caught at bad stomach bug so I have to be careful about what I eat. I am going to my first restaurant tonight and I am so amped!
Today I Am Feeling
hot and bothered!
Today’s Funky Friday Theme Song Is
These 2 really need to make their minds up, are they together or not? You can see how grateful Karreuche looks for finally being featured in a video. Anywhoo I love this song!
I am craving
Mac and Cheese!
it was not so hot in Nairobi, like it is crazy insane!
First up, I cant believe i havent changed my blog theme in months. I think it’s only befitting to activate the new 2015 theme dont you think?
It’s page 14 of 365, I hope 2015 has been phenomenal for you. I was not able to do a recap of 2014 last year, so i decided this may just be the best way to start the year, by reflecting on the past.
I killed my wanderlust in 2014, I travelled to the states in February and I think I had almost ten connecting flights in total during the entire duration of the trip. I used to be so fascinated with airports before this trip, but after spending endless hours in them, and even sleeping in one, I am definitely over it.
The Chicago airport had the coolest toilets, I wonder when Kenya will ever get here.
My life changed in 2014. I discovered what I wanted to do with my life career wise, and by being pro-active that role was created for me at work. How cool is that? I switched roles in May and so far it’s been fun, exciting, stressful, tiresome, I can go on and on. It’s been a great journey, and I am still growing. Hopefully one day I can start my own company and really live this dream that I am still creating. I was in the newspaper 3 times this year, plus was in a magazine too.
My mother graduated with her PHD. Have I ever told you guys about my mother? First up, she looks like my sister. She is gorgeous and wrapped in a nice little package known as fun sized. She is a very stylish diva who keeps tryna make me catwalk and model for her all my new clothes, which is something she does daily when she is trying to decide what to wear. Maybe I should mention she is light skinned, that rangi ya thao which keeps causing tweefs on twitter all the time?
Anyway she also has the brains to match. My mother started studying while I was still in primary school. I have watched her work her way through Undergrad, Masters and all through till her PHD. She is the strongest and smartest woman I have ever known, and I hope all her diligence will not go to waste. I keep saying that I hope I can be half the woman she is someday.
2014 was the year people showed me I was the shit even when I thought I was not. By people I mean men, and the attention was new since it was something unexpected. In some situations I made wise decisions, while in others I gave into temptation but that is what life is about right?
I also got to learn a thing or two about friendship. Some friends have been left behind in 2014, while others have been carried forward to 2015. Hopefully I can be a better friend in 2015 as well, friendship is a 2 way street after all.
Life has a funny way of showing us our future before it actually comes to pass (Am I making sense?). You meet people without knowing if they will have a significant role in your life in future. I am currently in my future and liking every minute of it. We will see how this plays out in 2015.
In a nutshell, in 2014 I travelled, partied hard, worked hard, made friends, lost touch with friends, ate a lot, drank a lot, fooled around, laughed, cried. I am hoping for lots more of this in 2015.
It’s been a busy year, so this may even be my last post for 2014, so i thought i’d just jot something down while I wait for the Friday traffic to die down a bit.
Nowadays my Friday’s just breeze on by, and they are stressful because I have to prep for the fun times and for Monday as well.
Anyway what’s been on my mind?
Someone once asked me what I look for in a man. I have always hated that question, especially when it’s a man who seems interested in me. Does he want to know for information sake? or to know whether he fits the bill? I have never really understood that question.
I know what traits I like, and i could easily name them for you, but i also know that finding everything i am looking for is the same thing as looking for a unicorn.
The same person also asked me what I have to offer to that man if I ever found him. I am pretty sure I named a whole bunch of things just to prove to him that i am a keeper. But today i cant help but wonder what it is that i do actually have to offer.
As women we expect so much from men that I am sure not many of us stop and think about what we have to offer them. We are so used to thinking that most men are scum or we are afraid to get hurt that majority of the time the focus is on finding the goodness in the men, and not on what we bring on to the table.
We expect the men to pay us attention, to take us on dates, to treat us like ladies, to spoil us and take care of us etc. What about the men though? Do you have expectations of us women that goes beyond hitting the box and what our outward appearance looks like? Why dont you talk about it? Are they not significant?
I am currently reviewing and analysing what i have to offer any lucky man out there. I am still mentally compiling the list, it’s not very long though to be honest lol
My challenge to women is to not be so selfish and also consider what you are bringing to the table. To the fellas, be more vocal about what you want from women beyond good looks and some nookie.
I’m not the type of person who sets goals at the beginning of every year, 2014 was no different. This however, does not mean i do not enjoy starting the year on a clean state. 2014 has had so many plot twists, which is why i sorta dont believe in new years resolutions and things like those. But i’m always hopeful and excited about the promise of a new year. I am hoping the year ends well too :)
I love the festive season though, summer bunnies, no traffic, endless parties, December is awesome!
I stayed at Enashipai in Naivasha for the first time and it was amazing. The service was excellent, we got cool complimentaries like chocolates, and chocolate covered strawberries, and of course the best part, complimentary tickets to The Ubantu Festival. The concert was so much fun even if we were just like 20 of us, Bucie killed it. Enashipai also has a really sick night club, i really wish it could be uprooted and brought to Nairobi.
I also went to Great Rift the following weekend for a friend’s birthday, we were at the most amazing cottage. I met some very cool people and we had such a ball.
I got to celebrate and surprise some important November babies for their birthdays, nothing beats seeing that look of surprise and shock on their faces, it was definitely a good time.
I must also mention that there’s someone whose made this month extra special, so that when i read this blog i will remember that he made this month all the more awesome.
2 Chainz didnt show up for his concert on November 1st :( I still wonder if he will ever come..
There was this Friday where I had a terrible morning, from punctures, to a ruined tyre, then the guy fixing my car got a seizure. Thank God the rest of my day improved there after.
This world is just too tiny, it’s now 1.6 degrees of separation not 6.
60 more days to my birthday and i feel like this >> :-/
When you find something you are afraid to lose..
What I Look Forward To in December
More fun times :)
How was November for you? What are you looking forward to in December?
I know I have been away for far too long, forgive me?
I had a spiggin good time this month no lie.
I went for Earthdance which was in Migaa, and I was so jazzed that for the first time i made it till morning! Left there at like 10am. Sadly I dont think I will attend another Earthdance event again, never been surrounded by so many youngins before.
Have you ever seen someone good looking around often, then one day you go for a meeting and find them amongst the presenters? Yeah this situation deserved a mention, it was a very cheap thrill but it made my day!
I went for a day trip one Saturday, made some new friends, had a lovely meal and went dancing there after.
My friend’s baby turned one this year, so proud of her and the lovely young man she is raising.
Surprised my mother for her birthday and she loved it :)
This was a great month for concerts, I went for Wizkid’s concert during shujaa day weekend. Him and Heavy K were nothing short of spectacular. Attended the Talib Kweli concert as well, I honestly didnt expect him to be as awesome as he was.
Im also happy for the people in my life who have good things going for them.
One of my family members was unwell, but it looks like he is well on the way to recovery, and we are giving God nothing but praise.
October was really good to me :)
I scratched my car against a pavement, there’s a huge scrape at the back door :( It’s also making a funny noise :(
Dont judge people based on your first impressions of them.
When people mess up, learn from it, let it go and keep it moving.
God work’s in mysterious ways.
What I look forward to in November
My close friend’s birthdays.
My friend’s traditional ceremony.
More fun times.
How was your October? What are you looking forward to in November?