Mid-year Crisis

Hey there strangers!

Yeah, I know it has been a minute, half the year has gone by and I bet the silence must have been deafening.

Well, the last few months have been a whirlwind to say the least. So many good things and bad things have happened. I am not quite sure about how I feel about 2017.

I know it’s impossible to have 2 good years in a row. This year has just been see-sawing so much I cannot quite call it.

This has definitely been the year where many of my loved ones have come of age. From baby showers and bachelorette parties, to celebrating new born babies, baptisms and weddings. It’s been great seeing many of them transition in life and be in their element. It has brought me great joy seeing them all look so happy and content.

I finished my Masters project, and passed despite barely getting help from my school and doing it last minute kawaida yangu. Unfortunately, due to the failure of my school to assist me, and stringent rules from the embassy, I was unable to attend my graduation in Europe in July. To be honest I was quite gutted, it just seemed like that trip was not meant to be as so many things went wrong in the midst of my preparations.

I took a loan to pay for my post graduate studies online, and I worked my ass off only to discover the school doesn’t give a rats ass about me as their student. I cannot wait to get my certificates and be done with them for good. I am timing the USIU graduation so that I can borrow my cousins gown and go to Studio Mona for a photoshoot, for some evidence that I have a Master’s degree.

I was so excited about taking a Euro trip, and now all I am doing is watching my friends have fun in Europe and enjoy the trips I was meant to be on #KiwaruIsReal

I have been seeking instant gratification in different ways ever since I decided this graduation thing was not gonna happen. My wanderlust is on over-drive and I must travel somewhere, several places before the year ends.

I did get to go to Dar Es Salaam just after Easter and it really is a beautiful place. The beaches are a sight to behold, and their food is divine. I went out to two clubs and really enjoyed myself, Tanzanians sure know how to have a good time.

Career-wise, I have never gotten this much exposure like I have this year. From being featured in top 25 lists, to featuring in the papers, and presenting awards. It’s been great being recognized for my work.

At the same breadth, this is somewhat a new field for me and events have occurred which have honestly knocked my confidence. I am always doubting and second guessing myself which is something that is totally new to me. I am taking steps to work on this though, and I hope they will bear fruit because I cannot continue like this.

Health wise, I continue gaining weight and becoming even chunkier. Many of my clothes do not fit anymore, and even my knees are getting affected. I have decided though to take care of myself by exercising regularly and eating healthier. This has been inspired by many of my friends thriving in my fitness journey.

This year has also brought the realization that some friendships were just for a season and have reached their shelf life.

Elections are happening next week and I am really hoping things go well because the country is basically on pause until we get over and done with them.

Im just hoping the rest of the year improves because right now I am just down in the dumps, and constantly on edge.