Of preconceived misconceptions

Men like to be conceived as strong, manly, unemotional, brave, gentlemen etc etc.
But I am always shocked when I discover that they are anything but that. Whenever that happens it really confuses me. Men are meant to be strong, what are these feelings you are catching now from nowhere? What is with the sensitivity? Leave that to us women.
I had a very interesting time last night. Met a bunch of new people, many new men, by the way I take it back! It’s raining men in Nairobi! The rates in which I spot eye candy have greatly increased, even in the office!
Anyhoosmu (the guy who taught me that word is back, he looks sooo good, that’s a post for another day) we had a very heated debate last night about the perceptions we have about men and women in Nairobi.
Ladies, men have the worst opinion of us right now. We are now those chics who are gold diggers, we apparently only give rich men with money, and houses the time of day.
We go to the club expecting men to buy as drinks, instead of actually taking the time to get to know the guy. We apparently rule them off if we think they do not fit the bar when it comes to financial status.
It seems like men are never spoilt by women, most of the chaps we were arguing with about this really just want to meet a woman who will buy them a drink for a change, who will engage them in intelligent conversation and like them for who they are and not what is in their wallet.
I do not mind buying a guy a drink, until I discovered a guy will know you are into them if you by them drinks. Is there any truth to this? Because I never buy drinks for guys I like ever since then. But now I think I will buy men drinks more often, just to confuse them 🙂
So yeah we women want men who can by us things, drive us around, we were basically depicted as shallow and very materialistic beings.
I will not deny that many women fit under that bill, but not all of us are the same.
Society has raised us to believe that men are meant to cater to women, is it wrong for us to expect to be provided for?
Expectation and reality are two different things. I may expect you to take care of me, but that doesn’t mean I will not be prepared to take care of myself if need arises.
What I feel nowadays is that men tend to our needs, expecting something in return. Like an investment which they expect a return.
As a result, personally, I do not expect men to buy me things or take care of me. If you feel like spoiling me, knock yourself out, but do it out of your own free will. Do it because doing nice things for me makes you happy because you know I will be pleased. Do not be chivalrous because it is what society has made you think I expect. Get to know me first before you categorise me as a gold digger.

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4th guest post for Christmas ~ Aria

A month or two ago, I got a notification from wordpress that Aria’s Coolade was now following me.
I thought that was a very cool name for a blog, so I decided to check out it out. She just had two posts, and from the comments section, I discovered she was Kenyan, and that I could probably know her. I was, and still am very curious to know who Aria is 🙂
Aria is still very new in this here blogosphere, but reading her stuff makes you wonder why she took so long to start blogging! She writes beautifully, her descriptions paint the perfect picture in your mind and her stories are very relatable. I always look forward to reading her posts so I was very glad she agreed to guest post on Revealed.
Check out her blog, Aria’s Coolade for tales of fact, fiction and everything in between.
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Excited! That’s an understatement when I think about my first reaction when the chirpy Nkiro asked me to write a guest post for her. I couldn’t believe someone, let alone a seasoned blogger, had asked me to grace her corner of WordPress. Many thanks to the lovely Nkirdizzle 🙂

Corporate Carnage!

Getting fired was not on my bucket list of ‘Things to do before I turned 30.’ Sky diving? Definitely. An across Africa road trip? Very likely. Spend a crazy week partying it up in Ibiza? Damn straight. Get hitched? Possibly. Start and successfully run my own business? Wholeheartedly. But getting fired? Never saw that coming.

I got back from the Queen’s land full of hopes,dreams and grand illusions. I sent out applications to all top notch organizations confident something would come up pretty soon. I didn’t stress; I knew my lofty job was on its way. One month….two….four….eight….crickets! I would go on interviews but the feedback I kept getting was that I was overqualified or that I had the right papers but not enough practical work experience. So there I was, 8 months into the jobless zone when I got a call from an organization I had interviewed at some months earlier. A new position had opened up, they said, and they wanted me to take it up. I was excited. Finally! A job! Plus, the prospect of a regular source of income didn’t hurt one bit. I dusted off my suits and got ready to rejoin the rat race.

Week one was mainly orientation and trying to remember everyone’s name. They all seemed friendly enough and as I rotated around departments, I got a feel of the work environment that I was now a part of. To be honest, I didn’t exactly love it but I put it down to first week jitters.

Two weeks in and the nagging whispers that I had been pushing to the back of my mind became a screeching cresendo. And despite the sunny
optimistic disposition I was putting out, I begun to accept what I had been denying. I was not going to be happy here. Something just didn’t fit right. The people were nice but you could tell there was something a bit untruthful behind the wide smiles. Things just seemed a little too plastic but I kept my thoughts to myself and went about doing the best I could.

One month down the line, even with my faithful  ‘imaginary radio’ (the silences got to me so I would sing songs in my head to keep me sane and make the hours move just a little bit faster. You don’t have to tell me I’m weird…I got the memo already, lol) I began to seriously loathe the place. When people asked me how I liked it, I was honest, “I don’t like it. I don’t feel like I’m learning anything, I don’t fit into the whole setting
and the first chance I get to bail, I’m gonna take it.” So I got the speech. You know, the one where people tell you that you should feel lucky that you are employed as jobs are hard to come by and to give it time and you will get used to it. So I did exactly that. I gave it time. But the only thing that accomplished was strengthening my resolve that I HATED it. Waking up every morning utterly dreading the thought that you have to return to *that* place is clearly not a good sign. I’m not naive enough to think that one should love absolutely everything about your job. Most people I know hate their jobs but when you dig deeper, there is at least SOMETHING that they were getting out of it. A great salary. Benefits. Job satisfaction. A steep learning curve. New challenges. I got none of these and therein lay the problem.

But I was a trooper. I went in, I smiled, I participated in inane conversations while holding an imaginary gun to my head, I did my work and got good at it. So after month two, I was tranferred to the department I had actually been recruited for after successfully impressing the supervisor who was training me. She gave the recommendation that I was ready to move on. I was honestly excited. Finally, a new challenge…I was now going to get experience in my field of study. I thought to myself, “You did it, now things will only get better from here.” How wrong I was. I set about getting to know members of my new department and discussing my JD with my boss. I was not experienced in most of it, but that’s what I was here for, right? To learn. So I embraced it and even went so far as to dig up my campus notes for reference whenever I encountered certain problems. Nilijitolea!

Two weeks into it, I realized something….my boss was really clueless. She gave me tasks she had no clue how to go about, the most basic tasks, and expected me (inexperienced me) to do them. But I didn’t complain. I did my research, I consulted people in the field and got stuff done somehow. Then she would go present my work to the bosses and take credit for it. But even then, I didn’t really mind or care. It was all in the spirit of team work right?

Week 3 under her and she gives me this pile of statistical work that I had no clue what to do with. Allow me to say, that stats and math are not my strong suits. Not in the least. But I took it on regardless. That was the beginning of the end. I would walk into the office everyday and want to bang my head against the computer. WTF was I doing here! It got to a point where loathing was an understatement whenever I spoke or thought of my job. I felt like my life was just wasting away. Every day a little piece of me died and I couldn’t believe that a job was making me feel so disillusioned with my life. Was it really worth it? I enetertained thoughts of handing in my resignation letter. But I fought it because in the end, I had nothing
to fall back on. Depressing days where I would count the minutes to the end of the day became my routine. I mastered the art of ‘Sucking It Up’. I buckled down, did my work, went home. In the midst of all this, I made friends with two women in the office who repeatedly warned me that I shouldn’t take everything I encounter there at face value, that people were not what they seemed and I should watch my back. I had sensed weird undercurrents in some interactions with certain people (most notably, my immediate boss) but I never believed people were going to be intentionally malicious so I took my friends’ advice with a pinch of salt. Naivete galore!

Appraisal day was coming around and I was pretty sure I was going to get a positive appraisal. Despite the fact that every time I was making a presentation to my boss, she would be fidgeting and munching on something looking completely distracted. She would always give me positive feedback on my progress. I really believed I would get a decent review of my work so far, as when when she piled her work on me, I never complained. When she sent me to functions she was supposed to attend to go to represent her, I went. Even when she would shout at me across the room to dial a number for her, I would bite my tongue and dial. Yes,i’m not kidding. She had me freaking dial for her! How much lazier can you get!! (insert expletive here)! During my first week there, I had come up with a list of ideas on how to better meet objectives and save on costs but she had shot them all down. I had sat day in and day out listening to conversations on how evil the world had become, how the hell people could wear g-strings and how the world was going to hell in a handbasket. I never once sniggered or verbalized the snide comments I was making in my head. So when she flipped the script during the appraisal and claimed I had shown no initiative, I hadn’t made an effort to gel with my co-workers and hadn’t made any worthwhile contributions to the department, I was flabbergasted. How dare this woman tell me I hadn’t tried! Bloody (insert appropriate expletive here). Suffice it to say, I still hold some resentment towards her. 5 o’clock that same day found me in the HR office signing a termination letter and clearing out my desk.

To be honest, I was pissed as hell for a very long time. But after the anger came the realization that the universe had probably nudged me, nay, practically shoved me into something I hadn’t had the guts to do myself. I wasn’t particularly passionate about my job but I was too scared to go back to being an unemployed statistic. It was a sucky way to live. That experience made me realize that I was being complacent and meekly allowing my life to just pass me by. I had relinquished the reigns and let the universe take over; allowed other people to influence my decisions even when those decisions were making me miserable.

Getting fired gave me the push I needed to pursue my true passions. The drive to go after the things I had pushed to the back burner because they were risky and I had taken the easy way out by remaining in a dead-end job that assured me of a pay cheque at the end of the month. Putting my signature on that termination letter pushed me out of my comfort zone and prompted me to take risks. I don’t know if it will work but at least now I know that I have tried and won’t live with the ghost of ‘What If.’

So this festive season as we all celebrate and prepare to usher in a new year, I reckon we should take a leap of faith. I’m not saying quit your job, all I’m saying is pursue something that makes you happy or fulfills you in some way. Even if it’s a side hustle. Think about it.
Happy Holidays!

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TGIFridays!!!!

Thank God It’s Friday!!!!

woooooooooooooooooooo

Yes, I am this excited 🙂

I am excited about

my friends being back in town, this is still so surreal!

Today I am Feeling

a bit sleepy, but happy nonetheless 🙂

My Funky Friday Theme Song Is

in preparation for Sunday 🙂

This Weekend I

have so many plans, it is going to be legendary!!!!

I am craving

a java chocolate chip cookie shake.

I wish

bad things never happened to good people, sometimes life can be so unfair.

I hope

the plans I have for the holidays pan out.

Today’s Inspirational Quote Is

‘If there is no wind, row.’

Have A Fantastic Friday!!!

From the bottom of my heart,

3rd guest post for Christmas ~ Dee_spicable

My next featured blogger is a very witty, funny, sweet and talented guy. Nothing like the loser he portrays himself to be, so do not fall for all his tweets, though you should follow him @Dee_spicable . I think it must take a lot of energy and brain power to come up with so many original jokes in a society where plagiarism is the order of the day.

He needs to explain why he likes portraying himself as a pedo bear though, and why he is so in love with unicorns.  Is it due to the major dry spell he claims to be in? Or is this his way of trying to make us like him? Because I think it really works in his favour 😉

If you want to know just how brilliant this man is, check out his blog which he needs to update more  I am suburbia and get a glimpse of how good a writer he is.

Take it away Dee…

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Hey everyone, so right off the bat you should know that being invited to do a guess post on @Nkirdizzle ‘s blog is one of the biggest honours I’ve ever had, and even though I have a prostate the size of the Nyayo Stadium roundabout I’m not afraid to admit that this girl gives me life threatening heart boners because of her awesomeness. Thanks, doll.

How to be a loser in 2012: My New Year’s Devolutions

So 2011 has finally come off its period and almost everybody (with the exception of Amy Winehouse, Osama, Gaddafi, Tupac etc) is looking forward to a glorious 2012. And what better way to do this than by making up a list of New Year resolutions in our hopes that we will stop all being complete diarrhoea dispensers and try to make the most of our rather pointless and pathetic lives. Because I’m a bandwagon jumping trendy faggot, I’ll gladly join in this massive multi-hit combo of fuckery, by giving you a step by step program on how to make it as a LOSER in 2012- Because I’m sure being good looking and likeable in 2011 didn’t work out for you as much as you hoped.

STEP 1: DON’T BE AN ASSHOLE

Seems confounding, doesn’t it? But trust me; this is in no way contradictory. If you take a look back in time, most of the ‘coolest’ people favoured by life are absolutely raging try hard whores who, through a series of ridiculously inexplicable and implausible events, turned out to be adored by a generation of people who have their heads stuck up so far up their ass they can’t tell the difference between a headache and a stomach-ache.

Studies have shown that 67% of women will sleep with the men in this picture. This also means 67% of women have no self-esteem whatsoever.

Yes kids, I’m talking about the cool kids club- the popular clique, the jocks and the divas, the famesluts and the manwhores. I’d like to challenge you to think about your social circle right about now- Who stands out the most and are well known in the clubs and bars and social spheres? That’s right; it’s the dickheads who act like the sun revolves around their pretty little assholes, who treat people with such impunity it makes dictatorial governments blush. If you want to be a real loser in 2012, you need to really stand out by being a genuinely nice person. Being a nice person will never really make you popular, you’ll never get the kind of girls (or guys) you think you deserve and definitely will NOT get you laid. Trust me on the last bit. Nice guys don’t finish last; they run an entirely different race.

STEP 2: DON’T CHEAT ON YOUR PARTNERS

We live in a point of time where infidelity is more commonplace than having a smokie-chapati combo for lunch in a public university. What was often referred to as ‘Sinning’ has been magically transformed (with all thanks to social media) to ‘Winning’. Hardly a day goes by without you hearing about some famous soccer player, politician, socialite, Old Testament prophet (citation needed) playing lawn tennis with his or her privates. Seems like everyone’s got their shit super-pumped up about fucking everyone except the people they actually claim to care about.

Your resistance only makes my penis harder!!!!!

I bet you can think of at least 5 people close to you who are in some sort of affair right about now, can’t you? And how does life punish them for their indiscretions?  By elevating them to the top of the social ladder, that’s how. So if you really want to be an assburger in the year 2012, remain faithful. It’s so unheard of nowadays it’s virtually become hipster.  Everyone will be like, “Ugh, I can’t believe you don’t cheat on your boyfriend/girlfriend. What are you, some sort of android tablet or something?’’ The jocks, in particular, have gone from a party of proud public school boys and closet gays to a party of proud homosexuals and closet public school boys

STEP 3: GIVE A FUCK.

The world seems obsessed with NOT giving a fuck. About anything. About everything. The number of times I want to tear my penis out through my asshole because someone said ‘I don’t give a fuck’ or ‘I have no fucks left to give’ is astounding. Nobody cares anymore. At least, nobody cool does. It’s like it  officially makes you the biggest swinging dick in the room  So break the mould in 2012 by being someone who isn’t afraid to care about things that matter to you, no matter how amazingly retarded they are. That’s a sure definite way to end up in the bottom 3 of the popularity list in any social circle, I assure you! People renowned in not giving a fuck in as few words as possible are the new social idols of modern society.

Her physically abusive husband probably has an antidote for her acute dementia.

STEP 4: BE YOURSELF

There’s a famous quote that goes, ‘’be unique, because you are different…but don’t be different for the sake of being unique’’ I’m not sure who said it, but I’m pretty sure he was a douchebucket. But this is the penultimate step if you really want to be a loser in 2012. Just take a look at yourself. Chances are, you’re about as attractive as a pile of gym socks outside a Tuskys supermarket.  What was that? You don’t listen to Trance, house, dubstep or hipster bands so underground that only the Loch ness monster has heard of them? Sorry pal, but your taste in music is regrettably tragic. Kindly go kill yourself.

ARGHHHH!! I DON’T KNOW WHO CALVIN HARRIS OR DJ TiESTO IS!!! MY LIFE MEANS NOTHING!!!

Being yourself if possibly the single worst possible thing you can choose to be if you ever want to be popular.

Or cool.

Or charismatic.

Or sexy. (This is just me)

It’s a scientific fact. Being fake and pretentious are the buzzwords of the social butterfly: You probably don’t even like yourself, how do you expect someone else to like you?  This is what the new age loser looks like. And this is why in 2012, in order to fight your way to the bottom of the popularity food chain, you’ll need to absolutely love the fucking shit out of yourself, and stay true to your values and principles. It’s harder than you can possibly imagine, folks.

So there you have it, a detailed description on how to be a loser in 2012. It seems like hard work, but with practice, I’m sure you’ll get the hang of it. And because I’m as sexually frustrated as a condom in a packet of birthday balloons, I leave you now with an awesome pic to inspire you to be all that you can be. A LOSER.

Merry fucking Christmas everybody.

Itikadi Fashion Gallery

James Otieno is the talented mastermind behind Itikadi Fashion House. I have known him for a couple of years, he was that guy who used to rock his own custom made cool polo shirts, with the collar popped looking all dope 🙂  I am a sucker for customized things, nothing stands out more like unique, one of a kind attire.

He started out with jerseys and polos, and has now progressed to women’s clothes. James had the privilege of showcasing his pieces at FAFA and The African Fashion Fair, and this past Sunday he launched his 70’s inspired  collection.

The show was nicely executed at The Pride Inn on Rhapta Road in Westlands and many people came out to show him support.

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James did a phenomenal job with this line, I cannot wait to see his next collection. I am positive he is going to soar to even greater heights.

xoxo,

2nd guest post for Christmas ~ KevDaNative

I really wanted to feature a photo blog this year, and the first blogger that came to mind was KevDaNative.

Kevin is a freelance photographer, who dabbles between Canon Rebel and Nikon D90 cameras. He has immortalized various events in picture form like Kinanda Fest, All that Jazz, Safaricom Sevens and many more. He also does  photo shoots where he manages to capture the beauty within everyone with just a click of his camera. I particularly like his black and white, and sepia shots, they are simply amazing.

Maybe this is where I should mention how I would love to get behind his lens my Christmas wish :p.

He recently launched his own website kevdanative.com spare a minute and witness the magic he captures behind his camera.

Introducing the handsome KevDaNative 🙂

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Smiles and Sunshine

Hi,

My name is Kevin and I love taking pictures. I don’t know when my love for pictures came about but it absolutely makes me happy to keep on clicking away.

My favorite style if you can call it that is portrait photography. Why you ask? Because of the smiles. A smile is a beautiful thing. It can make the crappiest of days seem like a skip through a field of flowers and other soft things. A smile can express emotions no words can ever convey. Is it not right then that a thousand words be conveyed by such?

Christmas is about smiles, it’s about   sharing a laugh with friends, family and loved ones. It’s a season to be jolly regardless of your beliefs and or practices. For me, its about appreciating where I’m from and looking forward to where I’m headed. It’s giving time to my family and those that matter in my life, spending time with those that I’ve neglected due to one reason or the other. It’s about sharing smiles.

Ever since I started concentrating on photography for my blog, my writing mojo disappeared. I guess I found another avenue to express myself. Now I’ve run out of words. Enjoy a few pictures. Thank you to the ever so awesome Nkirdizzle for hosting me.

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