More than friends??

No I am not falling for my friend or vice versa. It’s just something I thought I would write about after indulging in reruns of Friends. 

Can men and women be just platonic??? 




That is an age old question which has been debated upon for years and years. But who can give us the right answer really??? 

I am sure everyone has a different opinion on this. My two cents is, it really depends on the people involved. We all may have different friends with whom we have different relationships with. 

My male friends are categorised into two: just friends and prospects. I have had enough bored moments to analyse all of them and determine whether i’d consider crossing the friend zone or not with them. The criteria used in this selection is determined by your looks, your mannerisms, how we relate with each other, and of course the type of person you are. 

I do believe it is possible for men and women to be just friends, but mostly with people they are not attracted to. The thing about attraction though, is it can at times appear from nowhere so it really is unpredictable. 

I think it also depends on some traits that are intrinsically in us as men and women. Men are visual people and if they notice things they find visually stimulating from their female friends, maybe things might change??  As for women, we are more in tune with our emotional side so chances of getting emotionally attached to a friend can happen. 

Are the best relationships derived from existing friendships?? 

Is what you know better than something new and fresh that you have no idea about?? Personally I have never dated a friend, I do not know if I would to because I think once you cross that line you can never go back, things will change forever. Things may turn out well if your lucky the whole living happily ever after and what not thing or things could turn out badly and you not only lose a partner but a friend.  

Of course dating a friend has some major perks. There are no games because you already know each other inside out so there is no need for pretending. Things are laid back and relaxed, jitters are a bit less. 

On the flip side, the familiarity may also be to your detriment. There might be less effort on both sides to for example dress to impress, take you to fancy places, it may be difficult to change the habits or routines you had as friends though it really may not be necessary to change them. 

22 thoughts on “More than friends??

  1. My take is anything can happen with anyone. But if you value a friendship as it currently is, please avoid getting romantically involved. Just complicates matters for the worse. I’ve actually struggles with that situation with a close friend. We know everything about each other. I’ve known him more than 10 years. He recently broke up with his gf and I’m attached so I’m struggling to keep my distance and still keep up the relationship. Wish me luck 🙂

    • its a catch 22!!! sometimes the best of friendships can lead to the best of relationships, and on the flipside it can lead to the end of friendships if things dont work out.
      I think since u guys have been friends for a long while, you should be there for him during this trying time, but somehow ensure that things dont cross over to the next level because at this stage its tricky, its hard to figure out whether its real feelings or if he is on the rebound.. all the best itchbay and i hope it all works out for the best 🙂

  2. Am liking this kathing with the crossing out of those random thoughts, so you don’t believe in happily ever after ? 😦 but who does so on this friendship thing it’s true that guys are driven by lust but the truth is the best relationships are those that exist between best friends or atleast people who know and understand each other and you have to be flexible enough with that so that if something is botched up in the relationship you fall back to the friendship and analyse whatever it was at that level,that way very few situations can break a pair up…..I think #notanexpert

    • Aaaawww u commented on my blog 🙂
      no i do not really believe in happily ever after, at least not for our generation!
      i agree with your sentiments completely, but i think falling back into the previous friendship is possible, but kinda hard, so i guess the parties involved really have to be committed to reverting back to their friendships. #notanexperteither 🙂

      • Why don’t you believe in happily ever after for “our generation”? I have heard many from “our generation” say that, and I wonder where it comes from. Is is just that we haven’t seen many examples of it so we’ve decided to believe it’s not possible in order not to get disappointed? Just throwing ideas around. I’d love to hear what you have to say!


      • yes I have no hope in our generation, and you do have a point, forever is a long time so we may not see the results right now, hence no examples, (i have never actually thought of it that way).
        But what I have observed for now is people rushing into marriages mostly due to pregnancies, which may be a noble reason, but the couples do not seem happy, just a lot of infidelity etc I havent really seen ‘true love’ so maybe when i do my mindset will change..

      • I doubt there is that true love thing, or maybe there in like Sudan or in the middle of the Congo rain forest where those pygmies live you might find it but to any girl exposed to life there is that feeling they have when their life #almost resembles a soap opera and for guys there is that feeling when you want that one-night-stand to become a-couple-of-nights(not standing,that would be painful and dangerous….investing in more positions is more like it) but again men can be just friends with a girl, but for only a so very limited time then the lust registers and the rest is history(read scandal)
        In other news where’s my new post

      • I still know its you so stop tryna change names. new post is in sheck it out.
        I think soaps and movies create over the top expectations as to what love should be, and how men and women should behave.

  3. i think it depends but as very close friends there is a high likelihood to feelings springing up on one or both ends bt there are some platonic relationships i have seen remain as just that 🙂
    kudos to those who prove the impossiblity of occurence wrong.

    • Yes the probability of things happening between friends are really high so i guess it depends on the situation and the people involved.

  4. “Can men and women be just platonic???”

    Whoa! Hard Q!! I wonder too. I think its ish ish. Some can, some can’t. For example, I have male friends who I am totally into but only as friends…yaani I don feel like attracted to them. Same case with some women i may be bi-curious!.
    But it boils down to how well you can handle whatever you go for. IMHO.

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  6. so i like being a cynic. lakini there is more evidence around me that the friend-before-lover thing works. my brother is currently engaged to a girl that was his best friend. i have like three friends who are in beautiful relationships with people that they were close with before.
    so i don’t think anyone should just write the whole idea off. it’s worth considering. you may let a good thing go like that.
    on the other hand, it’s better to let a good thing go than to lose the good thing’s friendship. that’s the cynical wuss side talking.

    • The cynical wuss side of me, which is always dominant, totally agrees with you. Once that line is crossed beyond friendship, it is difficult to go back and things may never be the same. You may end up getting married like your brother, or you may end up loosing a very good friend. So yeah, is it really worth the risk?

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