Thank Me Later

After the unbelievable success of Drake’s mix tape ‘So Far Gone’, his debut album “Thank Me Later’ is finally out. Despite the fact that it was leaked on the internet weeks before it was released, the album is number 1 on the Billboard 200, RnB/Hiphop albums chart, Rap Album chart and it is the number 1 Canadian Album go figure πŸ™‚ The album sold 447,000 copies in its first week, which is the Year’s 3rd best sales week for an album.

So I will give you a run through of my take on the songs featured in this album and the rhymes that caught my ‘eye’ ears:

Fireworks

I am such a gentleman, You should give it up for me.

Ladies, please do not fall for this line πŸ™‚

Alicia Keys does the hook on this track, I find it kind of monotonous, but it really has staying power because ‘All I see is Fireworks’ is left playing in your head over and over again. I wish she had like a verse on this song though, I think she could have contributed a whole lot more to this track.

Karaoke

The 1st love is the sweetest, but that 1st cut is the deepest..

That line really stands out in this song. I think it sounds very Sadeish i’m not such a huge fan, yeah i said it!

Resistance

I’m living inside a moment, not taking pictures to save it.

It’s too mellow for my liking…

Over

This was the first song released in this album, and I think it’s one of the best songs on it. The instrumentals and beats on this joint are just divine. Drake kills it, and thanks to him, everyone is doing themselves πŸ™‚

One thing about music when it hits you, you feel no pain

Show me a good time

It has some nice beats, I see this song becoming a hit soon..

Up all night feat. Nicki Minaj

Miss Minaj is kind enough to inform us about how she has made a million from a mixtape, well madam, where’s the album???

I expected a lot more from the two of them, I found this song lack luck lustre to say the least.

Fancy feat. Swizz Beats & T.I

Oh you fancy huh?!

T.I, how have I missed this man! You’ve just gotta love his southern swag. I like the outerlude of this song.

Shut it down feat The Dream

Radio Killer makes an appearance on this album. We have yet another cool outerlude.

Unforgettable feat Young Jeezy

Aaliyah’s ‘Let me know’ has been sampled giving you a nostalgic feeling from the second you begin listening toΒ  this track.

The pain hurts like a cut from a beautiful knife.

Young Jeezy and Drake together managed to work some amazing magic.

Light Up feat JayZ

Anything featuring Jigga and I am sold signed! sealed! delivered!

I like the chorus.

Miss me feat Lil Wayne

Yeah I am Weezy but I ain’t asthmatic.

This album would not be complete without Drake’s mentor Weezy F Baby please say the baby.

Find your love

The first time I heard this song, I actually thought it was sang by Kanye because his name is written all over it.

Picture him writing 'Produced by Yeh'

The beats are just crazy, Kanye West still has it when it comes to production. Drake sounds amazing on this joint, and even live he can still pull the song of. Check this live performance out, though I think the band sorta let him down.

I’m more than just an option, refuse to be forgotten.

This is one of my favorite jams, love the video as well, it has a great story line that chic has got back, it is too big to be real.

With this album Drake has managed to show the world his versatility when it comes to rapping and singing, though I feel like most of the songs have the same sort of feel to them. There is nothing really different about most of them. In my opinion, this album did not live up to the hype..

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Dance-O-Mania

Remember when dancing was simple and fun,Β  when it was all about this πŸ˜›

The running man

A month or two ago, Oyunga Pala wrote an interesting article on the Saturday Magazine about women today and how they dance. It really cracked me up because he was spot on. Dancing has become so provocative and sensual to put it politely.

It’s all about shaking, grinding, gyrating, daggering, wibble wobbling, jerking, migingo, Lord knows what else. I blame Jamaica and their negative influence on us Kenyans who do not know any better. Damn their great music and awesome but outrageous dance moves. Visiting Jamaica is on my bucket list.

The phenomenon that is known as bend over is the one that has caused the most ripples in the Kenyan club scene. I am sure you have noticed the euphoria that song elicits whenever any DJ plays it.

I was in shock when I first saw the video on you tube, I doubt any mainstream television station here has played it, correct me if I am wrong. But if the cleavage of the women in this maphilipino soaps are blurred, and words like gay, condom are censored, I doubt they can air this video where people are emulating the missionary position as a form of dance.

I must say I have succumbed to all the hype of that song bend over. The excitement it creates is just insane, especially women, it seems to drive them wild. They just automatically bend over and shake. It’s very entertaining to watch; soon Bendover Thursdays will become a tourist attraction I believe. And it’s getting crazier as weeks go by.

Personally I prefer daggering than bending over, it’s way more fun and less degrading, especially if your daggering a guy :p Daggering is being the person at the back while someone else is bending over.

Guys have gotten really good at shaking by the way, you would be surprised at how low some men can go ; ) So if you are a dude, do not feel shy, make like nike and just do it! Bend overΒ  as long as it’s for a girl not a guy because as much as I get extremely jazzed at seeing guy on guy, two men dancing to bendover would just be wrong!

Despite the immorality this bendover song elicits, I still think it’s a fun song, if danced responsibly, so always remember:

Deuces,

TGIFridays

Thank God It’s Friday!!!!!!!!!

Just imagine horns tooting in the background πŸ™‚

I am excited about

I dunno, I am just excited, I predict great things agwan this weekend πŸ™‚

Today I am feeling

My Funky Friday Theme Song Is

RIP Micheal Jackson PYT

One year ago The King of Pop passed away so today let us all celebrate his music and enjoy his many awesome tracks!!

This weekend I

must have fun πŸ™‚

I am really craving

Tequilla!! I can’t stand how the stuff tastes, but it’s just so much fun taking them.

I wish

we had 3 day weekends, and that Christian Loubouitton (sp) would make me my very own custom-made shoes because I am starting to have a shoe problem (0_O)

I hope

I never have to get another injection after next month, I am tired of syringes.

Today’s Inspirational Quote Is

‘No work is big or small, give your best always.’

Have a Fantastic Feel Good Friday!!!!

Kenyans say the darndest things!!

Classic 105 is a popular radio station in Kenya, and one of the most popular shows on it is the morning show hosted by Maina Kageni and Mwalimu King’ang’i.

Every morning they have topics which should be rated R and discussed during late night shows which they invite listeners to contribute to. I dunno whether Kenyans just do not have money to go see shrinks, or they do not trust their friends and family, because the calls these people get are insane!!

At first I thought maybe it was the presenter Maina Kageni who elicites these calls, because the dude gets declarations of love from various women and men? like daily.Have you realised he never really gives people sensible advice, he just laughs a lot and makes fun of them.

I remember this one time some lady called in saying:

Men are sexual ATMs who release sexual funds.

wth?!!!

For the past few weeks Maina has been on leave so some boring lady named Ciku is filling in for him, and today they aired a recap that just made me die laughing. The topic was on men who cannot sire children. So this guy calls in and reveals how him and his partner had been trying to get a baby for a while. They were not successful so he decide to go to Nairobi Hospital for tests. It turned out that his sperms were too big so they could not swim this is the stuff they are airing at 7:00am in the morning, imagine! A year later, his partner got pregnant and she later confessed that the child was not his. She kept throwing it in his face that the child was not his so he got out of the relationship.

The guy went on to explain the doctors prognosis, he was told that the cause of his problem was because he wears underwear and not boxers so he was told to make the change lol He was even about to expound on how his nuts get squashed but Ciku stopped him thank God because I would have cringed to death with my mother in the car.

The co-presenter Mwalimu King’ang’i a comedian started talking about these ‘Made In China’ underwear and how they are affecting men, I died laughing.

Here is my question, I thought wearing tight underwear reduces sperm count, not increases the size of sperm???? Does it mean sperms can swell and shrink? I never did Biology in high school so I need to be schooled :p

A little chat with my 13-year-old self

I was tagged by the lovely MizCassandrae to go back in time and send a message to my 13 yr old lil self, so here goes nothing.

Wasup little girl,

First up, I am sure you realized that Y2K was just a bunch of nonsense. The world is not ending, apparently it’s going to end in 2012, so you can stop partying like its 1999, and party like its 2012.

It is really important that this message gets to you days before you turn 13. You may not know it now, but you are about to lose someone very close to you. So if this reaches you in time, when guests come home to visit you for chama, go hang out with Tea bags, get to know each other and have fun together, because it will be the last time you will ever see him, touch him, talk to him, so make it memorable and enjoy it to the fullest, otherwise you will regret having never really interacted with him before he died πŸ˜₯

You are in standard 8 now, so you need to start taking your studies seriously. Just because the exams have multiple choice does not mean you have to wing it missy. Mocks are not a mockery of exams, they are an insight to what K.C.P.E will be like, so when Mr. Warutere tells you that what you score in Mocks will be what you score in K.C.P.E, take him seriously. Do not just laugh at how his butt wiggles when he writes on the blackboard.

I know right now your very shy around people, even your own family, but do not worry, you will get over it. In a few years, you will be the life of the party.

Cherish the friends you have now, because in a few years you will kind of drift apart, but not to worry, Nairobi seems to have shrunk, so you will keep bumping into them. In fact, all the ‘cool dudes’ that chics used to chase after, are your good friends now. So even though you barely talk to them, it ain’t no thing, you will have more meaningful conversations with them, after puberty has destroyed their youthful good looks :p

By the way, not that you care, but 10 years from now shit I’m old you will look stunning! I know it sucks that mum won’t let you perm your hair, but she know’s what she is saying. When you join high school next year, all permed out everything, your hair will fall out. So cherish that nappy hair, because you are going to lose it soon.

Maybe I should give you a heads up, you’re going to fail K.C.P.E, do not give in to your illusions of grandeur once you hear results are out. Just because your school performs well, doesn’t mean you will to. In fact you should just go register in Isiolo, you may emerge at least in the top 10 of that province lol. But you do not need to do that, even if you will feel like the world is over, it really is not. It is all part of the grand master plan that God has for you.

You will go to great high schools, and you will have the time of your life so do not worry about it one bit.

I am glad to inform you that your infatuation with accessories will grow, you will actually start buying your own make up rather than getting it from shout magazines πŸ™‚ You will become so obsessed with jewellery as you will soon come to discover, so let your creative juices flow because soon you will be making your own stuff πŸ™‚

Take care of Vinnie and puss because they will not be there forever, so every time you hold puss, do it like it’s for the last time, and do the same whenever you play with Vinnie.

Make sure you attend all the Safari rallies that your uncle participates in, he may not do it forever. So enjoy perks like going to the service park and hanging with the service crew, and hanging with him, you may learn a lot about cars.

I won’t lie, this will be a tough year for you and your family, but you guys are strong, you will make it by God’s grace.

I must say though, you are such a good kid, I barely knew what advice to give you. Keep doing what you do because your mapping your way to a good future with few regrets.

Yours faithfully,

Oh so I am meant to tag some people, so here are some regular bloggers I am sure will not break the chain:

Joliea

Biche

Chiira

Soapaholic

How to stay single and focus on YOU!!

photo credit

In majority ofΒ  popular publications that women love to read like; Cosmopolitan, Marie Claire, Vogue, True Love etc, you will never lack articles about ‘How to catch him and keep him’ , ‘How to find your prince charming’, ‘How to make him fall in love with you’, I am sure you are familiar with all of these articles.

They are mostly about how women can find the perfect man, and keep him, and learn to please him and make him happy. They make it seem like the optimum goal of a woman is to have a man. Okay fine, God wants us to procreate and fill the earth, be that as it may, does it really have to be our primary focus?!

Don’t you wonder why you never find such articles in magazines targeted for men like Men’s Health, talking about ‘How to attract the perfect wife’, ‘She’s not that into you’ and all that crap. Men never have time to buy, let alone read about such nonsense.

I decided it is time to switch things up and give women information they can actually make use of. Okay, maybe I am not doing this for the greater good of womanhood I have some rhymes πŸ™‚ This is actually for my own good, a guideline to keep me focused on myself, and not get distracted by men. I thought I should share it with the world. It may help some woman somewhere, or give some man something to use against me :p

Disclaimer: I may not be going through all of these scenarios, they are things I have picked up from my experiences, other peoples experiences and TV the source of all our knowledge

Step 1: Forget him

If your single, it must mean you have just gotten out of something be it a fling or relationship. It may have ended badly, or amicably, but I am sure despite how hard you have tried, you cannot get that man out of your head. Here are a few suggestions on how to remove him from your system detox:

  • Delete his number, write it down in your physical address book for future reference. This is to avoid weak situations which will lead you into temptation like boredom, drunk dialling etc. You can save it again when you are stronger.
  • You have 2 choices. You can either deactivate your account on Facebook, or remove him as a friend. This is to curb the menace known as Facebook Stalking. I know you will be tempted to find out if he is miserable without you or if he has moved on swiftly, or just stare at his picture because you miss him. If your still on good times with that guy, deactivating is the better option because I am sure removing him as a friend will just bring beef, and you do not need anymore stress now do you?
  • Still on Facebook, if you were listed as ‘in a relationship with xyz’ that was a dumb idea by the way remove that status ASAP. Make sure you’re the first one to do it so that you do not come off looking like the dumpee cheap thrills . Keep in mind that there is an option to remove that story from your news feed, thus the whole world will not find out about it and bombard you with many dumb questions. The wisest thing to do is to remove that whole relationship status field from your profile.
  • Get rid of everything that reminds you of him. If his stuff is still at your place, put it in a box and either burn them, give them back, donate them to charity, sell them or store them on those high closets far far away. If you walk around with a camera like I do and you have a ton of pics, burn them in a CD, and bury them or take it upcountry and leave it there.

Step 2: Stay away from him

  • If you live together come we sin move out now!
  • If you work together that was such a terrible idea I am sure you must have thought ahead as to what you will do if shit happens, well the shit has happened, put your head up, and treat him like any other colleague. But stay away from him during the Christmas party.
  • If you used to go to church together, seat somewhere else, go for a different service or if worst comes to worst, go to another church.
  • I am sure you know his routines like where he goes shopping, where he gyms, where he works, where he clubs, try your best to stay away from those places to reduce the chances of bumping into him.

Step 3:Forgive him

Now that you have time away from him, take the time to get over him, and the end of the fling, relationship or whatever. Get the whole experience out of your system, make peace with it, forgive him, forgive yourself and move on.

Step 4: Learn from the experience

This experience will uncover stuff you may not have known about yourself, so this is a learning point where you get to discover your strengths and weaknesses. Take note and take this as an opportunity to develop yourself as a person.

Step 5: Mend broken bridges

When women get into new relationships/fling, some have this terrible habit of focusing on those men, and neglecting their family and friends.

Boyfriends come and go, but your family and friends will always be there for you.

So if you know your one of those chics, take the time to get re-acquainted with all the people you ‘dissed’ and reassure them you will not neglect them when the next man comes along.

Step 6: Learn to enjoy your own company

Women who have just come out of serious relationships find it hard to adjust to the single life. They had become accustomed to being taken care of, pampered, and their needs always being catered to. Well, you are now single, the only person who will do those things for you are yourself wake up and smell the coffee honey

Take care of yourself, treat yourself, go out on a shopping spree, go to a spa, go for a retreat. You may have gotten used to doing activities for couples, but you now have a chance to do things solo. It’s not so bad, give it a go.

If your really yearning for some company, call your friends, your family and kick it with them. I repeat, they will always be there for you πŸ™‚

Step 7: Keep off sticky situations

Not really sticky situations, I just lacked a better title. By situations, I mean, if you have decided your off relationships for a while, stay away from places where you will be tempted to start something up.

Maybe I am not articulating what I am trying to say so I will be specific.

It’s like men seem to have radar for vulnerable women, and that’s when they hit you with their best stuff. You on the other hand, will be too amazed to see right through them. So stay away from clubs and raves, that’s where the hyenas are looking for their prey. The clubbing scene has really accelerated the chips fungaing phenomenon. Let this fast food culture die!

Of course there is alcohol panty removers as the series Shugaa coined it which just releases your inhibitions and weakens your senses. This paired with the hyena’s will enlist you in a loosing battle.

Step 8: Seek alternative sources of attention

Women crave attention, we kinda thrive on it God know’s why. Of course the best source is from a man, who is ready to tell you anything you want to hear, which is mostly lies, or exaggerated truths.

Seek attention from people who tell you the truth, like your guy friends, your father, your relatives. That’s an honest source of attention, which will only lead to positive results, and no one expects anything in return, or gets hurts.

Step 9: Get Busy

Distract yourself and get busy for you know what they say ‘An idle mind is the devils workshop’.

Immerse yourself in your job and give it your all. Enroll for your masters, get a new hobby, join a gym, take a dance class, buy a dog that you can carry around in your purse πŸ™‚

If your preoccupied focusing on yourself, you will not have time to lead yourself into temptation.

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You are not obligated to follow the steps in chronological order, or to follow them at all, but I am sure there are a few things on here that can help you. If not, I hope you were entertained, because I had a blast writing this post I must say.

So here is to a happy single you and me πŸ™‚ Cheers!

TGIFridays

Thank God Its Friday!!
Wow this is the earliest i’ve ever written this post.
In other news since i cant log off and twit, i’m watching the movie obsessed, and the cat fight between beyonce and ali larters characters is crazy! I knew it would be good, but not this good! Beyonce is a bad ass! Hold the phone! The fights not over! Ali Larter is a bad bitch.
I am excited about
Chilling like a shilling today and not doing anything sensible. Maybe il bake cookies or something πŸ™‚
Today I am feeling
Relaxed and carefree, with no worry in the world.
This weekend I
Am staying in the house and doing a lot of nothing. I am happy to report that i resisted the derailment calls that have already started streaming in πŸ™‚
My Funky Friday Theme Song Is
hey hey by david ferrer, that video!!
I wish
I had more days off 😦
I hope
My dog bite is nothing serious, and that the parental unit dont find out about it because they will have a meltdown or something.
The quote of the day is
‘They are gonna hate, but thats how you know your doing great’ swizz beats
Have a Fabulous Friday!!
Disclaimers:
The format looks weird coz i’m using my cellphone.
I do not know the categories of this post by heart so if i changed it up a bit, whooooppsiiiee!