TGIFridays!!!

Thank God It’s Friday!!!

blackfri

This has been one long and harrowing week for Kenya and many other parts of the world like Pakistan, Sudan, and India. I feel like I may have left out a country. Anyhoo so many lives have been lost this week, take a minute to pray for all the departed souls and their families.

I am excited about

the end of September, this month has not been good.

Today I Am Feeling

anxious, torn, sad, bleurgh…

My Funky Friday Theme Song Is


This song takes me back to earthdance, a happy place. It’s beautiful and such a fun song. I dont think I can listen to any sad sappy songs for the next month or so.

This Weekend I

hope to do some much needed shopping for a project I will be doing next month.

I am craving

peace of mind.

I wish

losing yourself was not such an easy thing, for some of us that is..

I hope

there will not be stigma against Muslims, it is already happening to my utter dismay. We cannot be afraid of people who are of a certain religion just because of the action of extremists.

Today’s Inspirational Quote Is

jer

Have A Fabulous Friday and Stay safe.

 

Words

Nothing inspires you to write more than reading something beautifully written. I have been indulging in some extremely beautiful writing, the kind that makes you wonder why you were not gifted with the ability to express things in such a magnificent way.

zeus

 

poem

 

By learning to explore other peoples writing, I have learnt something about myself. When I feel things, it is so intense, I can taste my heart and my insides feel like they are on fire and that I will sporadically combust at any moment. These feelings get so overwhelming I literally feel sick to my stomach, like the butterflies are punishing me for not letting them get out.  I experience this whenever I feel guilt, fear, sadness, and anxiety. When I am mad, my blood practically cuddles but I usually just let the steam get out of my ears because the worst decisions are made when one is mad. When I am sad, I literally feel my heart bleed, and sometimes the weight feels so heavy until I cannot breath.  I cry so easily it’s like my tear ducts are over enthusiastic to respond to my emotions. I do not know what immense joy feels like, okay, let me rephrase and say I do not remember. But I do know that sometimes I get flushed and my ears start to burn when I see beautiful things, or when I am complimented.. Sometimes I laugh so hard that my mouth hurts and I feel the laughter ripple through my body, as tears fall down my face and I develop what feels like a cough.  I realised today that I feel hard, and these emotions sometimes feel like they have taken over my entire being. I usually need to find things to distract me from my mind because my thoughts sometimes feel like they can kill me. I have not found a way to control these emotions, I doubt I ever will.

There’s something that has been bothering me and it feels like it’s eating me alive. This is not fun any more, especially when my over active imagination feeds into my mind. Something’s gotta give..

 

*goes back to doing some more reading*

 

Westgate, help me understand.

The number of people who have questioned their faith, and the existence of God since 21st September must be phenomenal. On this Saturday, mid morning, a group of heavily armed terrorists went on a gun firing, grenade throwing rampage at the Westgate Mall in Westlands. Innocent men, women and children were shot at and killed by the grenades hurled at them. Many others were lucky enough to escape unharmed, while others suffered bullet wounds and injuries from debri thrown at them from the grenades.grenades.
The terrorists held a number of people hostage,who and we still do not know their exact number or what exactly has happened to them. According to the twitter streets, the hostages were tortured in the most horrific way, i literally shed tears reading about it.
Many of us have wondered how God could let such a thing happen. Why would he let people be massacred so mercilessly and rob families of their loved ones? Why would he let them have such tragic and painful deaths? What did they do to deserve this? Did they sin differently? Was their purpose to leave this world in such a cruel way?
I am questioning so many things right now, but one thing is definitely clear.
There is a God.
Though i was busy recovering in bed on that fateful Saturday morning, i could’ve very easily been at Westgate because i am a mall rat. My family and friends could have been there too, but by his grace we were spared. I really cannot take this for granted.
The previous night i was telling my friend who was at Onami, a Japanese restaurant at Westgate, how i would only be going there since they had the most delicious and affordable cocktails.
Now Onami is no more. Did the nice waiter who reminded us to order cocktails before happy hour ended survive? What happened to the waitress who let us order more than 1 drink for happy hour?
There was a quaint little confectionary stand situated right infront of Art Caffe, and they sold the most amazing cupcakes i ever tasted. Is the Indian lady who i think owned it survive? How about the young lady who sold them to me?
Apparently the first shots were fired at Urban Gourmet Burgers and Art Caffe. Both employees and customers were caught unawares as bullets were fired at them mercilessly.
I dunno if i have a hunger for pain, but i keep coming across photos of the whole ordeal, which have literally shook me to the car.  So much blood, pain and suffering. Again i ask, what is the meaning of life if it will be cut short so abruptly?
Some of the camera men though, their priorities seemed to be taking the perfect shot rather than helping the victims. I saw a picture someone literally stretching out their arm for help, and she died 😥
I may not have lost anyone directly close to me, but nonetheless i weep for my fellow country men.
I weep for the hostages who were presumably tortured to death.
I weep for those shot to death or killed by the grenades.
I weep for those who got injured and succumbed to their injuries.
I weep for those who got shot, lost limbs and bodily functions or hurt in anyway.
I weep for those who managed to escape unhurt, but witnessed this monstrosities.
I weep for all those who lost loved ones, and for those who still dunno the fate of their loved ones.
I weep for the brave warriors who lost their lives fighting the terrorists, and for those who got hurt while in battle.
I weep for my country, for we may never  be the same again.

The Type

If you grow up the type of woman men want to look at,

You can let them look at you.

But do not mistake eyes for hands,

Or windows for mirrors.

Let them see what a woman looks like.

They may not have ever seen one before.

 

If you grow up the type of woman men want to touch,

You can let them touch you.

Sometimes it is not you they are reaching for.

Sometimes it is a bottle, a door, a sandwich, a Pulitzer, another woman –

But their hands found you first.

Do not mistake yourself for a guardian, or a muse, or a promise, or a victim or a snack.

You are a woman –

Skin and bones, veins and nerves, hair and sweat

You are not made of metaphors,

Not apologies, not excuses.

 

If you grow up the type of woman men want to hold,

You can let them hold you.

All day they practice keeping their bodies upright.

Even after all this evolving it still feels unnatural,

Still strains the muscles, holds firm the arms and spine.

Only some men will want to learn what it feels like to curl themselves into a question mark around you,

Admit they don’t have the answers they thought they would by now.

Some men will want to hold you like the answer.

You are not the answer.

You are not the problem.

You are not the poem, or the punchline, or the riddle, or the joke.

 

Woman, if you grow up the type of woman men want to love,

You can let them love you.

Being loved is not the same thing as loving.

When you fall in love,

It is discovering the ocean after years of puddle jumping.

It is realising you have hands.

It is reaching for the tightrope after the crowds have all gone home.

Do not spend time wondering if you are the type of woman men will hurt.

If he leaves you with a car alarm heart.

You learn to sing along.

It is hard to stop loving the ocean,

Even after it’s left you gasping, salty.

So forgive yourself for the decisions you’ve made,

The ones you still call mistakes when you tuck them in at night,

And know this.

Know you are the type of woman who is searching for a place to call yours.

Let the statues crumble.

You have always been the place.

You are a woman who can build it yourself.

You are born to build.

 

Sarah Kay “The Type”

TGIFridays!!!

Thank God It’s Friday!!!

LADYRFI

I love these cartoony things!

I am excited about

my cousin coming home next week 🙂

Today I Am Feeling

lethargic, and  have a horrid headache 😦

My Funky Friday Theme Song Is

This song has been on constant replay all day, love it!

  This Weekend I

will get to see a friend I havent seen in a while, and of course, earthdance \o/

I am craving

icecream, to rub all over my face, I feel so hot and stuffy -_-

CAKE3

check out what this missy was eating here

I wish

things were simple and straight forward.

I hope

I get a miracle.

Today’s Inspirational Quote Is

‘Sometimes the most efficient way to get over someone is to date them.’

Have A Fantastic Friday!!!

Paulo Coelho Binge

I mentioned last week that I had been drowning myself in the savoury words of one Mr Paulo Coelho.  The first book I had ever read of his was The Zahir, which I loved, and you can find my review here. I have read 3 more books by him since last week which I really need to blog about because they basically spoke to my soul and literally gave me life. It’s like Paulo has the answers to life itself, I wonder what life must be like when you practically know everything.

  • 11 minutes

I just finished this book like an hour ago and my heart is still smiling at the beautiful ending. The book is about a gorgeous Brazilian woman named Maria. She had her own ideals about what love should be from a young age, and her little experience with it had solidified those ideals. She dreamt of fame, wealth and love, which she went to great lengths to achieve. She moved to Geneva in pursuit of these things, and albeit her plans went awry, she still found a non conventional way to survive alone in a foreign country. She got a job that exposed her to different men, and learnt a lot about the different ways to tend to their needs. Through her diary we get an indepth look at her thoughts, how she copes with being alone in a foreign country, and how her current situation affects her dreams and ambitions of finding love, fame and fortune. She gets to explore how pain, pleasure and religion are related, and learns the right way to seek them all.

I really loved the ending of the book. I think as a girl, all these movies, and tv shows really get into your head, and you end up wishing and hoping that some man somewhere will do something incredibly romantic for you. Deep down we all want that man who will go to great lengths to prove that he loves us, and we do stupid things to test them to see if they will actually do those over the top romantic things we saw in our favourite movies. This habit needs to die ladies, and for any man reading this, do not waste an opportunity to do something romantic for that special woman, for even though she is trying hard to banish those thoughts, she still hopes you will do something amazing for her.

Here are a few quotes which I loved from this book.

“Everything tells me that I am about to make a wrong decision, but making mistakes is just part of life. What does the world want of me? Does it want me to take no risks, to go back to where I came from because I didn’t have the courage to say “yes” to life?”

“When I had nothing to lose, I had everything. When I stopped being who I am, I found myself.”

“Other people think exactly the opposite: they surrender themselves without a second thought, hoping to find in passion the solutions to all their problems. They make the other person responsible for their happiness and blame them for their possible unhappiness. They are either euphoric because something marvelous has happened or depressed because something unexpected has just ruined everything.

Keeping passion at bay or surrendering blindly to it – which of these two attitudes is the least destructive? ”

“Now that she had nothing to lose, she was free.”

“When we meet someone and fall in love, we have a sense that the whole universe is on our side. And yet if something goes wrong, there is nothing left! How is it possible for the beauty that was there only minutes before to vanish so quickly? Life moves very fast. It rushes from heaven to hell in a matter of seconds.”

“Life always waits for some crisis to occur before revealing itself at its most brilliant.”

“The strongest love is the love that can demonstrate its fragility.”

“All my life, I thought of love as some kind of voluntary enslavement. Well, that’s a lie: freedom only exists when love is present. The person who gives him or herself wholly, the person who feels freest, is the person who loves most wholeheartedly.”

“you only know yourself when you go beyond your limits”

This means ‘It is written’ and this book is a collection of short stories and quotes. It is a really short book, filled with a wealth of wisdom.

“If you accept such love with purity and humility, you will understand that Love is neither giving nor receiving -it is participating.”

“Negative desires can cause no evil if you do not allow yourself to be seduced by them.”

“Advice is a theory about life, and the practice of life is generally quite different.”

“Profound commitment to a dream does not confine or constrain: it liberates. Even a difficult, winding path can lead to your goal if you follow to the end.”

God’s decisions are always mysterious, but they are always in our favour.”

“There is a work of art each of us was destined to create. That is the central point of our life, and no matter how we try to deceive ourselves, we know how important it is to our happiness. Usually that work of art is covered by years of fears, guilt and indecision. But, if we decide to remove those things that do not belong, if we have no doubt as to our capacity, we are capable of going forward with the mission that is our destiny. That is the only way we live with honour.”

“To follow one’s dream carries a price. It may demand that we give up old habits, it may create problems for us, and it may bring disappointment. But, no matter how high the price, it is never so high as at we pay for not having lived out our personal destiny. Because one day we will look back and see everything we have done, and hear our own heart say ‘I wasted my life.’ Believe me, that is the worst phrase you can ever hear.”

An alchemist is someone who can turn metal into solid gold. This book is about a shepherd, who meets an old man who claims to be a king. The man tells him that he needs to go to the pyramids of Eqypt to find his personal treasure. He sells his flock and embarks on this journey, in search of this personal treasure.  The king told him to look out for omens, signs which would guide his path.  During this journey, the shepherd looses everything, gains new skills, meets new people, and discovers things about himself that he never knew he was capable off.  One of the things that stood out about this book, was how the shepherd fell in love, and was torn between continuing his journey and staying with the woman he loved.  I know so many men right now who are sort of struggling to maintain the balance between the hustle and love. Read this book, and you will find your answer there.

“And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”

“It’s the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting.”

“There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.”

“When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.”

“Remember that wherever your heart is, there you will find your treasure.”

“Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second’s encounter with God and with eternity.”

“Don’t give in to your fears. If you do, you won’t be able to talk to your heart.”

“Everything that happens once can never happen again. But everything that happens twice will surely happen a third time.”

“If someone isn’t what others want them to be, the others become angry. Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own.”

“Every blessing ignored becomes a curse.”

“God only rarely reveals the future. When he does so, it is for one reason: it’s a future that was written so as to be altered.”

“But if you believe yourself worthy of the thing you fought so hard to get, then you become an instrument of God, you help the Soul of the World, and you understand why you are here.”

“My heart is afraid that it will have to suffer.”

“People are afraid to pursue their most important dreams, because they feel that they don’t deserve them, or that they’ll be unable to achieve them.”

“When you possess great treasures within you and try to tell others of them, seldom are you believed.”

“Because true love never keeps a man from pursuing his destiny”

“God has a prepared path for us to follow. We just have to read the omens he has left for us.”

If this post has not convinced you to get yourself copies of this man’s books, then there is really no hope for the human race…