Remember I had talked about wanting to participate in NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month)? Well I signed up, but I had no idea what to write and in all honesty, I was not going to write anything until I suddenly got inspired.
On Sunday I was watching Wall Street: Money never sleeps and there was a scene where Carry Mulligan’s character was breaking the news to Shia LaBeouf‘s character about her pregnancy. And I thought, I would hate to be in her shoes, because even if they were engaged and in love, she still seemed nervous about telling him about the baby. It seems despite your situation, you never know how someone will react to this news.
I managed to conjure up some 1,215 words, nowhere near the 50,000 word target. It was lots of fun I must admit, maybe I may finish this ‘Novel’. Have a read, and let me know what you think.
‘Oh my God!’ ‘Oh my God!’
My heart felt like it was a prisoner in its own chambers trying to escape; I was hyperventilating like I had forgotten how to breathe.
‘This cannot be happening.’ I whispered to myself, which was kind of strange seeing that I got myself into this predicament in the first place.
He was there, when I was at my weakest, lonely and inebriated. I tried staying away from him, but it was like he knew I wanted him, needed him even. He saw through my nonchalant façade, and he came at me with his game face on.
I really tried to ignore him, and act like his very presence did not confuse my senses and drive me insane. I shouldn’t want him so bad, when he was not mine to have. He was that alluring forbidden fruit, that looked so delectable and tempting. I had been fighting so hard to resist the temptation, but I am after all Eve’s daughter.
I know he liked the fact that I was a challenge, he had been chasing after me, and somehow I had managed to brush off his advances and it took me all my strength to evade him. He was wise enough to pounce on me during my weakest moment, with my vulnerability emanating from my entire being.
The fruit was even more scrumptious than I had imagined or could ever have anticipated. The fact that I was not meant to be eating it made it both exhilarating and scary at the same time. It was the most explosive and intense experience of my life. Then it was over.
The little bubble I had sought refuge in burst open, and I emerged, spent, with my craving sated, and with strong feelings of guilt. He on the other hand, was the happiest I had ever seen him. His eyes were shimmering and bright, he had this glow surrounding him and he was beaming from ear to ear.
He looked like he had just discovered the true meaning of happiness, and that scared me to death, especially because deep down inside, I felt the same way too. This was a mistake, none of this was meant to happen.
So I did the only thing I could do, I ran away.
He tried calling me, but I refused to answer his calls or respond to his messages. I was so glad he had no clue where I lived.
For the 2 weeks that followed, I was tormented by the guilt of what we had done, the desire to do it again, the turmoil and confusion of refusing to submit to him. I was so caught up in all those emotions, that I never realized that I was late.
When it dawned on me, it felt like I had been hit by a monster truck, my world literally came crashing down. The doctors confirmed what I already knew was true, and I was faced with the impossible task of deciding what needs to be done.
The activities of that night kept playing over and over in my head. That temporary moment of insane pleasure had now created a connection with him, forever. There was a piece of him inside me.
At one point or another, every woman has thought about what they would do if they ever found out they were pregnant. I always knew abortion would never be an option, but the thought did cross my mind. Going through with it would eliminate the complication that was him in my life, having to become a mother when I was barely done with growing up.
I made my bed, and so I must lie in it. Even if this was unplanned for, and despite all the fear, I already knew I loved this baby growing inside of me.
I was extremely confused and scared, and most of all too embarrassed to seek advice or refuge from anyone. The only solution that I could think of was to go to the person who got me into this mess in the first place. So I called him.
He picked up after just one ring. His voice, evidently, still did things to me.
“To what do I owe the honor of receiving a phone call from you? After you have gone to extreme lengths to steer clear of me?” he asked somewhat in a condescending tone.
“I need to see you.” I responded curtly.
“I have been dying to see you ever since that night, but you have just been ignoring me. Why the change of heart?”
“You know why I couldn’t see you.”
“Why?” he asked, knowing very well what the answer to that question was.
“There’s only one way to find out, meet me.” I replied.
“I am free now, come to my house.”
The thought of going to his house, the scene of the ‘crime’, scared me, but it had to be done.
“Okay, I am on my way.” And I hang up before he could say anything else that would prevent me from going to see him.
So many things ran through my mind as I drove to his house. How would he react? Would he think I wanted to trap him? Would he be happy about it and take responsibility?
I got to his house, parked the car, and found him at his door step waiting for me. Seeing him took my breath away. There wasn’t anything spectacular about him, except for his eyes, which stared at me like they wanted to bore into me and reach the depths of my soul. And his body, well toned and strong, he reached out for me and crashed me into his arms. For a moment, that felt like the most wonderful place to be in, here in his arms. The moment ended and I released myself from his embrace and walked into the house, searching for the perfect place where I could break the news to him.
“I missed you.” he said, as he walked towards me.
“I am happy you finally came around, what has been going on with you? After a night like that you would think that you would be banging down my door rather than running away.”
“I know this whole thing is not the best situation, and I know that’s the reason you have been avoiding me. But none of that matters.”
He was now standing next to me, his frame towering above me as he stared down at me. I couldn’t bear to look at him, because I was busy trying to figure out what to say, how to form the right words.
His hand grazed my cheek, and he lifted my chin, forcing me to look into those eyes. When our eyes met, it was very evident that I was in turmoil.
“What’s wrong?” He asked, his voice filled with concern.
“I’m pregnant.” I blurted out.
It felt good finally telling someone and putting it out there, why should I suffer alone in silence?
I had really anticipated his reaction to this life changing piece of information, and I waited with bated breath to hear what he would say.
“I…..” and the door burst open, with Haley barging in, guns blazing and throwing accusatory glances at us..
See what I did there?? Suspense 🙂
Thank you for reading,