Isn’t this such a beautiful song?!! Don Ngatia’s voice is so sexy and sultry, the perfect soundtrack for this post.
2018 has not been easy. I have been trying to figure out why this is so. Is it because I ushered in the new year in Nairobi?
This was my excuse for the horridness that was 2016 Is it because I am no longer religious? Am I being punished for no longer having a relationship with God?
We are in the last quarter of the year and it has already gone to shit. We suffered a death in the family this week, the most precious 9 year old was taken away from us and it hurts like fuck. I cannot even fathom what his parents are going through, no parent should have to bury their own child. As cliche as it sounds though, he is in a much better place now and I hope he is his ever jolly self in heaven. (Yes, I still believe. In heaven and everything else).
I lost a friend in June this year in the most tragic of ways. The last time I saw her was just before new years, we used to hang out a few years back but I guess life got in the way. She had really lived her best life though, total embodiment of ‘eating life with a big spoon’.
I came here to write because I just needed to get stuff off my chest. The first thing I did was to read my last post which is funny enough part of the reason I am back here once again. Feeling unworthy of love and somehow imperfect because they never stick. I am going through the same freaking cycle once again, and I do not understand why… I will not dive deep into it because it seems I already covered it in February so I am just gonna take my L and exit left now and hope it does not cause any more damage.
Career wise, this has been the hardest year of my life. I have never faced so many challenges, never questioned my worth and my abilities as much as I have been forced to this year. I have always worked my ass off,
work ethic inherited from my mum and it’s something I will continue to do despite everything.
On the flip side, I have learnt so much and gained so much exposure, and I do not take all this for granted. I am still against this whole thing for going through shit just for you to become stronger, but it’s whatever I guess.
I had always wanted a job that allowed me to travel and this year I have spent half my time outside of Nairobi. The experiences have been amazing but I always found myself missing my family, friends, and great moments. It really was not all I thought it would be. I still believe maybe I would enjoy it more if my travels were abroad.
I have been feeling like I am ageing like a banana rather than fine wine. My skin has betrayed me in the worst way and I am taking drastic measures to try and tackle these issues that I am having. Let us not even talk about my weight, I am gaining pounds by the day smh.
I do not know if this is a good thing or not, but I do know many people haven’t had the easiest time this year. I dunno if it is because mercury is in lucozade, but surely something has got to give!
Let’s hope this bad energy stays far away for the rest of the year. We all just need to catch a break and get some wins!