I am not single, I am romantically challenged

This past June, I clocked 2 years as a single person. This isn’t something I am particularly celebrating, it is more of a way of life rather than something to pay tribute to. It is only a big deal when I am asked questions like ‘When was your last relationship?’ , ‘What is the longest relationship you have ever been in?’ etc.

I do not know why people keep bringing up these questions. Fine, they may be relevant, but not to me seeing that the answer I may give may or may not be what you want to here. There is never a guarantee that the response you get is the God honest truth.

I think I am becoming very set in my ways, and I am approaching that age where I cannot learn new things because old habits die hard. I am used to doing things my own way, without consulting anybody, and without having to keep tabs with anyone. I have been raised this way, and I think this will prove to be an issue in future. I have issues with anyone who questions my actions or activities, if my parents have no qualms about it, you are questioning me as who?

Nowadays I blog knowing at the back of my head that someday soon someone who I am with or could be with is reading as I ‘sell myself out’ on here. Well, do not say you did not get a heads up when it comes to matters concerning me..

I had a very interesting conversation with my friend some weeks ago, about how Kenyan men and women in relationships relate to each other. Women are competing with men rather than submitting to them, which is totally and absolutely true.

There are things which some women do, which is not the traditional way that women are supposed to act. For example, going out and partying. I have always said that I do not want to be that chic who is left at home while the husband is our partying. In my mind, such a situation wouldn’t have been ideal seeing that he was out having fun while I was at home dying of boredom.

Well, my friend changed my mind set about this. A woman’s place is in the home, and her mission should be to create and sustain a good homestead which her husband will always look forward to returning to at the end of the day. In fact, they should make it so good that he has no desire to ever leave in the first place. This made a whole lot of sense, now who to practise this with??

I seem to have a douche bag radar or something, seeing that I attract quite a few of them. My consolation is, how will I weed out the idiots without having to ummhh frolick in the garden? There has to be some flowers and not just weeds out there. Such experiences help me discover what I do not want when it comes to choosing a partner, they set the standards that I will never go below. My only qualm is, I need to stop giving some of these people chances, maybe there is no good in everyone.


I also learnt my reputation precedes itself, lately I keep hearing people talking about how they were discussing me, and I was glad to discover that the things they said were good things.

Being single kind of makes you less stringent when it comes to the standards you set, but one thing I have learnt, is that there are somethings I will not compromise on, and evidently most men know this.


For the most part, I like my life the way it is, until it gets cold and a human blanket seems like a phenomenal idea. Or when a sexy song comes on, and I am surrounded by women 0_O Or when I stumble across a beautiful bouquet of flowers and yearn for someone to present them to me.

Anyhoosmu, I am not in a hurry to get into anything serious, like I always say, things happen for a reason. For now all I can do is seat back and enjoy the ride..




2 thoughts on “I am not single, I am romantically challenged

  1. first, I really don’t like the submit word. my blood boils when my eyes come into contact with that word.

    Second, I guess we’re 50:50 on the role women should play. my view is they should play whatever role they deem fit, not what the society says. like the whole staying at home and building a homestead.if it’s your thing, why not? if it’s not your thing, then that’s ok too

    Lastly, just like some birds shouldn’t be caged, I don’t think you can make it that the guy never wants to leave home.maybe the first few years/months, but after that, it won’t matter how good or bad you keep your home, guy will stay or leave. it comes down to him, not you.

    PS, being single isn’t half bad. especially the independent part,but if it’s time for you to jump ship, then keep your mind open while not compromising 🙂

    • This is like the 4th time I am trying to respond to this post smh it keeps getting lost.
      Anyhoosmu, i think women have become so independent that men feel like there is no room for them in their lives. Men like to feel like they are needed, and that they can serve a purpose.
      When you look at the older generation, most of them are celebrating 30 plus wedding anniversary years, and most of the women there used to submit. Look at today’s marriages, so many of them are falling apart. I cant help but wonder if submission is the missing element.
      Thanks for stopping by 🙂 Pies are us? you go girl 🙂

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