The razzle dazzle has fizzled out…..

A time like this last month, i was in euphoria. I had met two gorgeous guys and i was being showered with attention and so many compliments, and I was excited because of all the numerous possibilities these men promised. I was also starting to be guilt ridden because I’m pessimistic so all I could do was predict complications.
Now I am happy to report I am feeling guilt free, but all the excitement has faded away, with a very slim chance of a possibility with just one of them. I no longer foresee any quagmires arising since one of the factors in the equation it seems, is not a factor anymore.

The activities of this past week has really made me evaluate myself. First up, I cannot hack long distance, I can only stay so long without having you here with me, it is just too hard. Secondly, I think I get bored really fast, without excitement I loose interest, and without interest is it really worth the effort? 

xxx V xxx

Kids do and say the darndest things

I was such a weird kid with a wild imagination and sometimes i was just really really bored so as a result i did some very funny things.
I remember i used to eat chewed gum which i would find stuck under tables, or on beds, i can still taste that stale flavour (ewe i dunno what i was thinking). One time i remember i found a chewed melted eclair on the road, and me the dumb child i picked it up and ate it!! This reminds me of how i used to sleep with gum in my mouth and in the morning find it all tangled up in my hair.
I don’t know whether i did not agree with the whole concept of cooking or something because i used to eat raw sausages, bacon, hot dogs, maybe if microwaves were there at that time that would not have happened, but that’s no excuse because we had a mbotch! I also remember eating tablespoons of blueband even.
This one time i was sleeping over at my cousins house, and i had just come from playing outside the house and i was really thirsty so i saw a bottle of what i thought was water on the kitchen counter. So i take a huge gulp of ‘water’ and the stuff tasted horrible like anaesthetic (i was an avid hospital patient when i was a kid, and with some of my crazy antics it is no surprise huh?) Turns out it was a bottle of dry cleaning water. Luckily my uncle was a doctor and his wife was a nurse so they sorted me out, i do not remember any bad effects from that though.
I used to love eating ugali with mala when i was a kid. Now i cannot stand either of the two. At the time, nothing was flavoured so i decided to create my own strawberry flavoured mala. I poured mala into a glass and added a spoonful of jam, stirred, wacha i tasted the product of my ingenious idea….YUCK!!!!! I have never drank mala since that day!
During those pre-microwave days you either had to contend with consuming cold food, or you struggled with reheating the food in a sufuria. This one time i think i had the flu or something, and there was yoghurt in the freezer so i wanted to defrost it and drink it when its warm. So i poured the stuff into a sufuria and began heating it, only for it to start coagulating. I was so sad all that yoghurt that i had syk for had to go down the drain.
When i was a kid, i remember going to church and wondering how the bible was read because i could hear them saying ‘John chapter one verse three’ but i used to look at the bible and i could not tell where they were reading from so i assumed that the footers at the bottom of the page was where they used to read out those chapters and verses from and i used to like reading it to myself and feeling achoven (yes i had achieved it at that time lol )
I love club kiboko, i still watch it even today but its ofcourse not as nice as it used to be those days for Jimmy Gathu and Lorna Irungu. The cartoons were soo awesome like captain planet, transformers, ewoks, and my favorite martian. Anyway i loved that show and i was obsessed with Jimmy Gathu. I used to call ktn (227122) and ask to speak to Jimmy Gathu then hang up when he came on the line.
I had a very awesome childhood, one that i will cherish forever. I really wish i could go back to those good old days.
I have noticed that children of today are so smart and intelligent, i have never heard any of them doing some of the insane things that i did.
What are some of the dumb things you did as a child?

xxx V xxx

Bathroom stuff

There is a certain decorum which has to be conducted when your using the bathroom.
For me bathrooms are a huge deal because for some reason i pee really frequently (no i do not have a problem, i got checked and i am A okay).
Anyway the reason i am writing this blog is because i am wondering if these thoughts go through peoples minds when they are using the loo.
Men are very lucky they pee while standing, what i wouldn’t do to be able to do that!! Do you know how much we women suffer when your in the wild and you have to squat down and expose your behind to all kinds of dangers like animal things jumping up to bite it, or poison ivy (does that plant grow in kenya??), all the while mooning all your spectators?!!
I saw one time on Tyra some kind of funnel thing which enable women to pee while standing, i would definitely buy that if i knew where i could get a hold of it!
During the last rally held two weeks ago in kajiado, my friends had to gather up shawls and create like walls to enable each other to pee. I did not join in on the fun, but of course i took pictures 🙂 i would rather stay pressed till my bladder is on the verge of exploding then pee in the wild.
My guy friend was asking me why girls cant just spread their legs and pee while standing, well, that really wouldnt work because the pee would not go straight down, but trickle down your legs.
One time my friend and i were at Nakumatt Ukay where we had made a pitt stop before heading to Qs, and we went to the bathroom, but since it was just the two of us we decided to explore a bit. I joined him in the gents, and it was quite an adventure…not!!! Men’s bathrooms stink especially coz of those balls they put in the urinals (ewe). He came to the ladies and the first thing he noticed were the rentokil bins.
‘What’s this for?’
Most people drink from the fountain of knowledge, but my friend only gargled ha ha ha
okay i am just kidding, i just had to throw that line in. He is actually very intelligent…sometimes.
So i proceeded to tell him all sorts of lies of how you open the bin and it produces water which you can use to wash your hands or wipe yourself if there’s no tissue. Men are so clueless..
I heard in Japan there is a pipe that sprouts up from inside the loo and proceeds to spray warm water to wash your derriere or whatever. If you have been to Nihongo, is there any truth to that??
Apparently there is a rule for urinal use in mens bathrooms about like the proximity to your neighbour or whatever, and i was really relieved to hear that because in my opinion, urinals already do not provide any privacy at all. I bet when your peeing your just busy sizing each other up with your neighbour.
Before i really used to wonder what all the fuss women made about men leaving the toilet seat up, but it is actually a big deal. If you put it up, just put it back down when your done.
What freaks me out the most when i am in the toilet is when you flash the loo and the water starts rising! shit!!! That’s so messed up but luckily it usually goes back down so the disaster is averted.
I think this post has gone on for long enough before i begin grossing you out, which i am very capable of..

xxx V xxx

Because I said so

Due to my GIGO (garbage in garbage out) memory, i’m an avid fan of reruns. I can watch or read anything numerous times and still be very entertained. This particular weekend i was on a mission to just lounge in my bed and get reacquainted with my favourite movies and serii (is that the plural of series?)
For some reason, i decided i wanted to watch because i said so once again. The movie stars Diane Keaton, Mandy Moore, Lauren Graham, Piper Perabo…
Anyhoo, the movie revolves around Milly (Mandy Moore) a young lady who always seems to find the wrong men who are either old, married, or punks. As a result Daphne (Diane Keaton) her meddling mother is always busy interfering in her life. So Daphne creates a profile on a dating website searching for a life partner for Milly.
Thanks to her mother, Milly meets and gets involved with two gorgeous but very different men. Jason is an architect who is cultured and has travelled the world, while Johnny is a tattoed musician who is a single parent to a gorgeous little boy who asks women to show him their ‘ginas’.
Anyway Milly goes ahead and dates both of them, but you can already tell she is happier with Johnny because when she is with him she can be herself, and he is just really amazing, while with Jason, she was really insecure about herself. Anyway she got to date two men at the same time, rip all the benefits, then she got busted. Johnny was furious when he found out she had been sleeping with another guy. Jason was easy breezy about it which was like the strangest thing. To cut a long story short, Milly dumped Jason after discovering he was her mothers pick from the dating ad, and she realised Johnny was of course the better option.
Anyway it was a very nice movie, an eye opener in fact….

xxx V xxx

Fluu Shmuu Puuh

Since Monday my flu has just transcended from bad to worse, increased symptoms, and no sign of getting better. There must be a problem with my immune system for real, the whole natural healing thing doesn’t seem to work on me. I have this terrible cough, a stuffed nose, paining sinuses, which has just brought on a lot of negativity.
My week has just been long and dreary, with lots of work, and nothing much to smile about. Right now I am trying to figure out what exactly is the real reason my week has sucked..
Fine i will just fess up, of course there is a man involved. I haven’t really talked to him this week, even though i am itching to, but i am too proud, and i felt like i had been dismissed or something, i dunno. Anyway i hope he will hola soon, so that i can know if not talking to him is the reason why this week has sucked. I am hoping he is not the reason, because otherwise, houston we will have a problem.
This lack of communication just makes me wonder. After meeting up you would think things would become better not go backwards and become worse then when we met up.
At least this makes things easier for me, the quagmire is slowly diffusing if that makes any sense.. Now i can stop dreading September 20th and beyond since one of the complications is increasingly not becoming a factor in my life (unfortunately)
I have also come to realize long distance relationships are something i can’t do. Okay i always knew i could not do it, but now i know for sure. No, i am not in a long distance relationship, but it is really hard to do anything with anyone who is miles away. Emails, calls, texts do not cut it. Video chats in my opinions would just even enhance your suffering because you can see them, talk to them, but you cannot touch them bleh! That sucks.
Does this post make any sense even?? Its this stupid flu arrgghhh, i am going to hospital today, this cannot continue….

xxx V xxx

Sauti Sol – Mwanzo

Polycarp, Delvine, Baraza and Chimano are the extremely talented members of the group Sauti Sol.
The group originally started out as Sauti but they included Sol after they discovered that there was already another group going by that name i think from Uganda or something.
Delvine, Baraza and Chimano started singing while they were at upperhill high school, then they later linked up with Polycarp who is behind the acoustics. The guy has like magical fingers on the guitar, he is quite good and the shocking thing is, he taught himself how to play the guitar. Trust me that is not an easy fete, i tried teaching myself guitar, but my fingers hurt so bad, and i could not play a single tune, so i never got that far.
I went for one of their live shows on valentines day, and it was so awesome. These are one of those bands who sound exactly the same live as in their studio recorded records. My personal favourite is Baraza, his voice is simply just divine!! I really like the fact that this group is so harmonious unlike other bands, because all the singers contribute to the songs, there is no clearly defined lead singer, they are all in sync.
I got a copy of their album Mwanzo. The album cover is nice and simple, and the sleeve has the lyrics to all the songs featured in the album which i think was a great idea because their music is just great to sing along to. There is also a brief explanation of the inspiration behind most of the songs.
The album features 14 songs about mostly love, marriage, cops, Nairobi etc.
Lazizi is their most popular song which is receiving lots of air play on radio and on tv. I must admit it is my favorite song, I never seem to get tired of it at all. I also like sunny days its nice and easy.
I love Zosi, its such a lovely song, any woman would wish they were Zosi. Wera is just fun to sing along to, they sound so good in it.
Mama Papa features the musical stylings of Dela, an amazing female vocalist. The song has a slight reggae feel to it, and it is basically about Baraza (Bienne) and Della asking for their parents blessings. Its a great song.
Track number eight is blue uniform which is a song about our Kenyan Police force and we all know how they are.
I like Mapacha, it has a nice catchy tune, so does Mushivala which a song they’ve sang in vernacular, i think its luhya not too sure.
Nairobi is a show stopper featuring Stan. It has a nice tempo i really like it.
Those are the songs which really stood out in my opinion.
Mwanzo was produced by Wawesh of the Mjanja fame, and i think he did a fantastic job. I cant wait for them to release some new material.

Manic Monday in the making

Its monday morning and i am experiencing the repurcussions of a mad fun weekend! My head hurts because of lack of sleep, and i can feel the onset of a bad cough coming on. I am starting to think i am allergic to fun late night activities because i was sick last month already, i had a flu vaccine shot in June God dammit!! why the hell is this happening?!!

anyway considering all the stuff i did during the weekend, i am not surprised. On friday i went for a party with my friends and it totally rocked. I met this guy that i really like and it was great spending time with him, plus he looked so nyum, like a tall serving of chocolate deliciousness. I also met my ex who i am glad to report has no effect on me whatsoever. I said hello, he came to talk to me for a few minutes to apologise for our last run in which was not as pleasant, then he left me alone which was all easy breezy.

The next day, went for a bbq with mr chocolate, which was cool, i am getting really good at this going on dates thing i must say, it was easy breezy. I had 2 other parties to go for and i managed to make it for all of them so at least i did not dissappoint anyone again.

I think i am growing old, I am honestly getting tired of westlands, same ol people, same music, i really need a break, or some new scenery!! My friends kept on asking me why i seemed to look bored, which i was actually but i did not wanna admit it.

The surprising event of saturday night was that a friend of mine who i can only stand in small doses, actually ended up making my night. We danced with him and i had such a blast even though my legs hurt like crazy. Yaani i am evening getting too tired to dance which is like one of the major reasons i go out in the first place!! I ended up leaving early that night, as in before the sun rose, which is something i rarely do. Then when i got home, the mbotches phone was off so i could not get into the house. Luckily my neighbour was home alone so i went to sleep at his house, slept in the same bed with his friend who i used to have a crush on when i was 9 years old. He was such a gentleman which i really appreciated, nothing happened at all.

Went for the rally jana after almost more than ten years, i had fun because i was with many of my crazy friends, dancing on top of vans and drinking themselves silly lol, but it was not as fun as it used to be when i was a kid.

Now i am in the office, trying to remember what work i was meant to do, and trying to motivate myself to do it, but after the ndao guy comes and i have a cup of extra strong black coffee because i am not seeing how i am hacking this day without an energy boost of some sort.

xxx V xxx

U HALI GANI??

Yesterday i watched a snippet of some local talk show where they were talking about asking someone who you are about to get intimate with to get tested for HIV/AIDS. The relationship expert featured on the show talked about how women are more open to talk about their sexual history, but men are usually not as open because if they were to disclose at the beginning of the relationship that for example they were married, it would be an immediate deal breaker. He also went on to add that if you asked the man to get tested he would most probably hit the road!
Everyone knows that HIV/AIDS exist, but people do not seem to understand just how real it is unless someone who is close to them has the disease.
Six degrees of separation refers to the idea that if a person is one step away from each person they know and two steps away from each person who is known by one of the people they know, then everyone is at most six steps away from any other person on Earth. (Wikipedia)
This experiment was suggested to prove that the population of the earth is closer together now than they have ever been before according to Karinthy who is considered to be the originator of this notion.
We see it every day as we interact with different people, how we all somehow end up knowing the same people one way or the other. Let’s face it people, the world is shrinking, its becoming even smaller than a ball gum.
Have you seen the spare wheel print ad in the local dailys which is being used for the ‘ epuka mpango wa kando’ or whatever its called, which shows the different ways that people are linked to each other? it really got me thinking.
How many times will you realise you and like three of your friends made out with the same guy or even worse slept with him?
or how many guys will hi five each other because they got some or they tapped the same chick?
Then what if you discover that someone who is connected to you in your human web gets infected with HIV/AIDS?? can you imagine the way it will spread through the web?? or even worse, make its way back to you?
I really do not know how i started thinking about it this way but I am now actually very scared!
My friend and I have always talked about going to VCT to get tested, maybe we should actually go through with it.
I was also wondering, so like when you have met that perfect someone, and you wanna become intimate, how do you go about asking the person to go get tested, without it coming off like you do not trust them? How do you broach the topic while making them understand that it’s not them you do not trust, but their past sexual partners??
Damn, i miss being a young innocent child whose biggest worry was whether i would get to eat icecream after church 😦

xxx V xxx

Deal makers and deal breakers!!!

What is the first thing that catches your eye about a member of the opposite sex??
I’ll speak for myself, one of the first things i notice about a guy is his face. Lets face it, in Kenya there is a shortage of gorgeous men so women’s standards have been forcefully reduced! Anyway what i look for in a face, good skin, nyummy lips, average sized nose, great hair. I am obsessed with hair, so if you have long hair i will be so smitten. I also like clean shaven heads, it looks nice and neat. Eyes are something i do not particularly look out for because majority of all the black people have the same brown eyes except some lucky few.
I also look at the attire. There are some men who are so well dressed it’s insane. What catches my attention in particularly are suits, preppy dressed boys, or even simply a nice shirt wit pants, or a cool tshirt with a waist coat. There is just something about a man in a tie, it is very hot, but only when I am out, in the office there’s nothing jazzing about it at all!
I think i am one of those women who really do not pay attention to a man’s shoes. I only notice them if they are exceptionally hot or like really really bad!
There is nothing sexier than a man who can dance!!! No matter how injured you look, if you can dance then you have definitely caught my attention.
Of course if the man smells good thats a definate plus, there is no bigger turn off than body odour 😦 or sweat, I really do not want to be wiping my hands every time i touch your hands.
A man who walks up to me and speaks to me definitely arouses my interest. Nowadays it seems like men are just waiting for women to come and hit on them (watangoja!!!).
The voice definitely counts, if you step up to me with a girly shrieky voice i defintiely will never take you seriously. But if you have a deep sultry baritone, I will definitely be hooked. The way you talk is also important. I will not give you the time of day if you sound like some funny dodgy ob, or if you shrub, I know i may seem stuck up or whatever but those things are important. I think it is important that i can at least have a conversation with you without bursting out laughing because you have shrubbed, or having to ask what that sheng word means.
No woman is attracted to a shamelessly drunk guy, so if you know your one of them get your act together.
A man who will protect you from trouble will win a girls heart, not the dude instigating the fight for no reason, be man enough to walk away.
Gentlemen always turn heads. It is so nice to find a man who will pull up your chair, open your door.. okay to be honest sometimes i find it weird but i still feel like i am being pampered.
Height only becomes an issue if the man is shorter than me, I do not wanna look down on you. There is something hot about having to tiptoe to give a guy a hug or a kiss.
Of course a man’s body is very essential. Many women have different tastes, and luckily there is a lot of variety in that department.
Lucky for men, women are not as biased when it comes to body type. You will find a gorgeous woman dating the most ridiculous looking guy ever!
Anyway you will be surprised by the little things that can turn people off. Different people have different pet peeves.

xxx V xxx

Walking on sunshine…

Are you happy??
My ex used to like asking me that question, and at the time, i honestly was not sure i was because i never really new what the definition of happiness was.
Today if u ask me the same question, i will definitely answer it without any hesitation, i am very happy!!
what would you define as happiness?
In today’s world, it seems like the ultimate definition of happiness, is having a partner. Married people and people in relationships are viewed to be very happy and living a blissful life while single people are viewed as being lonely, sad and alone.
A good friend of mine really used to like taunting me about how i was single, and lonely and i would die alone blah blah blah, i basically used to ignore him and i never really took it to heart.
Enough single people keep getting pressure from all corners to find a partner because their biological clock was ticking, or so that they would stop always being the third wheel during get togethers and what not.
Society has made being single seem like such a sad phenomenon when it really is not.
I remember for the longest time i really wanted to be in a relationship, so when the first opportunity presented itself, i literally jumped into it, without thinking clearly about it. ‘Let’s do this’ were the words i literally used lol.
When I compare my life now, and back when i was in a relationship, I can honestly say I am way happier now. There were some great times, but there were also some really really low times. They were so low that i barely remember the good times. Maybe it’s because I was with the wrong person, i dunno. Anyway I wont use this as a platform to discuss my one failed relationship.
I am happy because God has been so good to me, even though i may not necessarily deserve it. I am of relatively good health even though i do not take care of myself as much as i should. I have an awesome loving family who are always there for me and they make my world go round. My friends are just amazing, and so much fun. All the important people in my life have played a role in making me who i am today. I am definitely a better person because of them.
Though i do not have a man in my life, these people have made my life extremely fulfilling, and i know i have nothing missing in my life.
ok who am i kidding, i miss that excitement that comes with meeting someone knew and getting to know them, but in my current circumstances, the excitement has just turned into anxiety and confusion, anyway that’s a story for another day.

‘alone people do not like hearing about together people. It’s mean. It’s like carrying a 6 pack to an AA meeting’ (Caliope-Greys anatomy)

Married people and those in relationships really like rubbing it in single peoples faces be it on purpose or without knowing it. This for sure is one of the reasons that depress single people about being alone.

Anyway I am happy and being single really has nothing to do with it. I really do not want my life being defined by having a man. If i do get a man, so be it, but my happiness will be determined by my life’s circumstances and not the fact that I am dating.

xxxx V xxxx