Kids do and say the darndest things


I was such a weird kid with a wild imagination and sometimes i was just really really bored so as a result i did some very funny things.
I remember i used to eat chewed gum which i would find stuck under tables, or on beds, i can still taste that stale flavour (ewe i dunno what i was thinking). One time i remember i found a chewed melted eclair on the road, and me the dumb child i picked it up and ate it!! This reminds me of how i used to sleep with gum in my mouth and in the morning find it all tangled up in my hair.
I don’t know whether i did not agree with the whole concept of cooking or something because i used to eat raw sausages, bacon, hot dogs, maybe if microwaves were there at that time that would not have happened, but that’s no excuse because we had a mbotch! I also remember eating tablespoons of blueband even.
This one time i was sleeping over at my cousins house, and i had just come from playing outside the house and i was really thirsty so i saw a bottle of what i thought was water on the kitchen counter. So i take a huge gulp of ‘water’ and the stuff tasted horrible like anaesthetic (i was an avid hospital patient when i was a kid, and with some of my crazy antics it is no surprise huh?) Turns out it was a bottle of dry cleaning water. Luckily my uncle was a doctor and his wife was a nurse so they sorted me out, i do not remember any bad effects from that though.
I used to love eating ugali with mala when i was a kid. Now i cannot stand either of the two. At the time, nothing was flavoured so i decided to create my own strawberry flavoured mala. I poured mala into a glass and added a spoonful of jam, stirred, wacha i tasted the product of my ingenious idea….YUCK!!!!! I have never drank mala since that day!
During those pre-microwave days you either had to contend with consuming cold food, or you struggled with reheating the food in a sufuria. This one time i think i had the flu or something, and there was yoghurt in the freezer so i wanted to defrost it and drink it when its warm. So i poured the stuff into a sufuria and began heating it, only for it to start coagulating. I was so sad all that yoghurt that i had syk for had to go down the drain.
When i was a kid, i remember going to church and wondering how the bible was read because i could hear them saying ‘John chapter one verse three’ but i used to look at the bible and i could not tell where they were reading from so i assumed that the footers at the bottom of the page was where they used to read out those chapters and verses from and i used to like reading it to myself and feeling achoven (yes i had achieved it at that time lol )
I love club kiboko, i still watch it even today but its ofcourse not as nice as it used to be those days for Jimmy Gathu and Lorna Irungu. The cartoons were soo awesome like captain planet, transformers, ewoks, and my favorite martian. Anyway i loved that show and i was obsessed with Jimmy Gathu. I used to call ktn (227122) and ask to speak to Jimmy Gathu then hang up when he came on the line.
I had a very awesome childhood, one that i will cherish forever. I really wish i could go back to those good old days.
I have noticed that children of today are so smart and intelligent, i have never heard any of them doing some of the insane things that i did.
What are some of the dumb things you did as a child?

xxx V xxx

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2 thoughts on “Kids do and say the darndest things

  1. mmhhh…

    drinking juice/tea remnants from visitors' glasses. I would pretend to be taking the glasses to the kitchen *smh*

    sneaking to the back of the house to eat soil too!

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