Irreconcilable Differences: A Thesis By Bobbui


I will not lie, I am dying to meet Bobbui! She is one of the most passionate people ever, when she strongly believes in something, or someone, she will not shy away from talking about it.  She literally drove us crazy ranting about her twitter crush, who she would not reveal. That story died down, I wonder what happened? She is sweet and friendly, and seems to have a very interesting life. Check out her blog to catch a glimpse into the life of this fascinating lady. I am so glad she finally graced Revealed 🙂

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Abstract

I am in utter shock.

As you may have heard, I am an opinionated Professor of Things (many) and this equation does not add up: H7*4+S7*4=D7*4. Where H=Heidi, S =Seal and D= Divorce.  7 is the number of years both have been married to each other. 4 is the number of children between them.

I know what you are thinking, ‘She didn’t see it coming? Naïve little hopeless romantic that lives back in I-don’t-know-which-century where people loved, married and lived happily ever after’. Congratulations for having seen it coming, for you are probably the only one in this entire universe that did, but sorry The Guinness book of records is not taking applications and I am out of candy.

Introduction

For those of you who have never come across the ‘Seal named Klum’ Concept, probably because you live in a hole and have a less superior sense of music, here is what’s up: an incredibly, ridiculously, gloriously happy couple is getting divorced.

I am sure Heidi and Seal loved each other and still do, and from their music videos together perhaps even more intensely than most people can get, not even within sniffing distance/ zone. So they got past the intense I-can’t-live-without-you loving, got past the wedded bliss and got into the marriage, but neither survived the institution, even after seven  –I would assume great– years, great anniversaries, awesome music and beautiful children together and not together.

Nothing, could keep their marriage afloat. Clearly, something did happen that disrupted the natural progression to ‘Happily ever after’, something of a mutation.  I hear the courts prefer to call it Irreconcilable differences (Definition- A term used to cover for the failure of love.) because no matter how hard anyone tries to explain, no one can find why two magnetically converging personalities are now incompatible.

Body

Appears to me there is:

a)      Only so far that one can fall in love,

b)      Only so much love between souls,

c)       Only so much need for one to want to be with another, and

d)      Only so close can two worlds come to being one.

Which simply brings me to the conclusion that; there has to be an expiration date on the institution of marriage and relationships, alike. The expiration date has a complex mathematical formula: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Euler%27s_formula -Good luck cracking Euler’s formula *insert evil laugh*.

Besides being the fall of my favourite celeb couple, herein somewhere lays the real reason I am distraught about Heidi and Seal. It’s really not about them or me per se; it’s more about the 7 years and children shared between them, and closer home; a close friend, seven years and a dog to be exact. This happened to my friend which means it can happen to you too. To save your relationship from this inevitable end, please refer to Euler’s formula above.

I recently moved into a new house, studio, always loved such spaces. They are particularly hard to find but not entirely impossible…

I digress. Seven years. That is the point of this narrative.

No, it did not take me 7 years to get the studio, but it did take about that time to move houses and to get my very close friend to visit again –strange- that notwithstanding, we remain very close. When he last visited it was more of a celebration of found –TRUE- love. Many anniversaries, many trips around the world, a dog and quite a substantial amount of time elapsed, seven years to be exact, it is now a ‘celebration’ of lost –TRUE- love. Correct me at your own peril.

Methodology:

Allow me to show you how I arrive at my conclusion; there has to be an expiration date on the institution of marriage. Relationships, alike.

Table: 1.1- The celebrity Vs. Ordinary folk matrix of divorce

  Variable Celebrity: Heidi and Seal Ordinary folk: Close friend

 

Remarks
1. Popularity Celebs and bound to get divorced Not celeb, no reason to get ‘divorced’ OMG
2. Marriage Married, thus every reason to get divorced Not married, thus no reason to get ‘divorced’ SMDH
3. Tethered love Found, engaged and tethered love. More reason to get divorced Found, engaged and didn’t tether love. Less reason to get ‘divorced’ GFF
4. Love Lost -True-love. Seven –beautiful- years and children down the line. Lost –true- love. Seven –beautiful- years and a dog down the line. WOW!

I discern that you still need more convincing.

Case study 1

My brother and I have loved each other for about… not quite a good example. We are still together, technically speaking J

Case study 2

My best friend and I; we were roommates in college and we got divorced at some point after college.  I am afraid this also fails as a good illustration. We still love each other, more after graduation.

Case study 3: Soumei and I.

Perfect, just perfect.

It was love at first sight (just like Heidi and Seal); she was so so beautiful, sitting there, clad in lush crimson red with a twinkle in her eye. I was instantly attracted to her exquisite countenance and graceful disposition; the calm demeanor of a lady of means, elegant and easily the best looking laptop in that shop and definitely in town. New arrival, as they say here.

For a solid seven years, and numerous accessories together, I am filing for divorce. Cruel it sounds, but amicably we shall part ways. It was good while it lasted; the time spent together, the shared stories, the projects/ gigs we nailed, the good music, the awesome movies, the coffee spills… you get the picture. It was worth every minute of the seven years, but we have got to move along. Irreconcilable differences and also because I need to move on up, to a much cooler, ultra-thin MacBook… well, -hush hush- also because, Soumei is old and cannot rise to the occasion whenever I need her to.

Happy divorce Heidi and Seal!

 

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7 thoughts on “Irreconcilable Differences: A Thesis By Bobbui

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