Of life and things…


I had a very interesting weekend, filled with lottsa dancing, awkward moments, music, fun, it was epic in it’s own way.  The awkward moments were plenty, but I eventually got through them.

Nairobi is too small for it’s own good, we have been reduced to 3 degrees of separation. Everyone is someone’s ex, and eventually someone’s next.

The best solution seems to be, to stay away from these people before they get you into trouble. If trouble grabs you and tries to dance with you, run away quick fast!

If there is something I realized this weekend was how fast things change between people. I have mentioned enough times how much I hate change.  There were some people I was so comfortable with, but now it is kinda weird and with someone else we are practically like strangers. The latter is the main problem, how we have come to this, given where we started out is just sad. I keep making progress, then taking like 5 steps backward. I cannot wait for things to just be normal again, to not feel a thing.

God truly is amazing, he sends people to me who make me happy when I am feeling down.

Sometimes I wonder, women understand each other, and men get each other as well. Doesn’t this mean that gay people must have the easiest relationships since they are from the same gender and they understand each other?

I wish life did not revolve around the interaction between men and women. I want to define and determine my own happiness.

4 years ago, if we had a conversation about relationships I would have told you love does not exist, all men are punks et al. My sentiments have definitely changed thus far, not all men are punks or I hope they are not. As for love, I still wonder about it. The men who have claimed to love me had their own warped ways of showing it, so as a result I am back to not believing in it. I now also question my ability to express love, I am generally not an emotional, lovey dovey person. Long story short, I am not eliminating the thought of welcoming love into my life, it will now just take a while for me to warm up to the idea of it, after determining whether the opposite person is 100% sure about how they feel.

Yeah, I am not in a good place right now when it comes to how I feel about myself, which is really sad when I come to think of it. I like myself for who I am, I am just not sure whether other people will accept the real me, with my awesomeness and imperfections. Feel free to jump in and declare how much I rock now.

I have also come to realize that for me this blog is just to air out my thoughts and shove the stuff I love down your throats, but to some people my blog posts helps them in some way. Who knew my mindless jibber jabber can actually be of good use?

 

 

 

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6 thoughts on “Of life and things…

  1. you rock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!you have never stopped so never ever doubt.. you absolutely positively completely rock!!

    loving the new theme btw!!

    • I am more like damaged, not hurt. Yes, I am happy go lucky, especially when I am having a good time 🙂 Having fun is the remedy for how I will repair myself (or I hope it will be).

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