Today has not been one of the best days..
For a while I have been noticing that Tuesdays generally suck. We all expect Mondays to be awful, given the weekend hangovers, lack of enough RnR, the beginning of a new long week, but most of my Monday’s actually are not too shabby.
My day was not really awful, just coupled with lots of work, and new revelations that I went searching for. They weren’t lying when they said curiosity killed the cat. I am now running out of spare lives because I keep dying.
I have started praying for the virtue of patience, I think it is something that I really need in my day to day struggles.
I am one of those people who goes out of their way to be nice to people because stupidly enough I want them to like me, and to have a good opinion of me.
Yes, I am that proverbial people pleaser, who puts other peoples needs before my own, martyring myself to make sure that other people are comfortable when I myself am not.
I wish I could figure out where that incessant need stemmed off from, I would definitely get rid of it as soon as possible. Clearly my efforts go in vain and go unnoticed. All I end up with is serious over thinking of situations from all sorts of warped angles, and tons of raw deals.
I really seemed to have digressed, I have no idea where I was going with..
Anyhoosmoo, I am amazed and awed at how easy people find it to forgive each other, and I wish this was something that everyone in the world would embrace.
I have also witnessed how overcoming fear leads to good things that you may not have anticipated, which leaves you wondering what you were afraid of in the first place..
If there is something I have mastered the art of lately it is blank stares, it’s the only way I can control my emotions when I am being irked.
I am really frustrated right now, and dissatisfied with a lot of things, some I can change, others I cannot. For the ones I do have the power to change, I have done nothing. Clearly I cannot be helped.
Another revelation that I talked about in an earlier post is still on my mind. People clearly rush into things without analyzing what they have hurried into. Others stay in situations which do not benefit them but end up destroying their lives. There are also those who know what they are doing, appreciate what they have and work really hard to maintain a grasp on that which they value. I on the other hand have not rushed into anything binding, I am not making decisions based on how someone else’s reaction will be. I have the upper hand when it comes to choosing my actions, all these are factors that I am truly beginning to appreciate and embrace.