3rd guest post for Christmas: The Greatrnk

The Greatrnk is one of those rare cases in the male species that can almost multitask, imagine that! Even I have problems multitasking, and I am female, yes I checked just to be sure.

You can tell by his writing that his train of thought is quite interesting and entertaining 🙂

He has hosted his fair share of guest posts on his blog, and also posts work from The Princess Project. You will definitely find diverse work to suite your literary tastes on his blog The Greatrnk.



Top on Santa’s naughty list

I remember the day, but not like it was yesterday, because it was not. It was the December that ‘The Prince of Egypt’ was showing in the cinemas. For those who do not remember, were too young (like me), had not come into existence or had ceased existing due to the cousin of sleep called death, it is the movie whose soundtrack was ‘If You Believe’ by Mammary Carrying glands and the former wife of the idiot that everyone who had a crush on the wife when she was among the 50 most beautiful women in the world including all the other guys who happen to be gays hate. I think the guy was called Bob ya Brown.

On the said day, I was – as is the norm – busy doing nothing and generally minding my own business when our door bell rang several times like our house was the back door of heaven that the ringer of the bell possibly Hitler had discovered. My aunt who was living with us decided to answer the door, and that is the end of my story.

Earlier, my parents had left for shags, leaving my younger brother and me at the care of our elder siblings and aunt (who was the same age as my eldest sister). Our parents had instructed my elder siblings to take us to the cinema to watch the movie I had mentioned earlier but they bribed me and my small bro with a sok each so that we would not say we were not taken when they got back. Keep in mind that the bribe came from the cinema ticket money and they split the rest of the loot amongst themselves. I am so telling mom of the injustice that was perpetrated against us during that time.

In the beginning (of the story) was a beautiful girl called Glo. And Glo used to sell in a shop and my big bro used to katia Glo. One day, my bro went to the shop to see Glo. He was, as usual, armed with a 50 cent – which he would use to buy the sweet called koo – incase he found Glo’s mom in the shop. However, on this day he found Glo’s best friend, Lynn, alone in the shop. At this time, it is important for you to understand that Lynn who was way hotter than Glo was the kind of girl that, if you met her on the streets walking, you would stare at her till you bumped into something/someone. I remember the first time my bro brought her home, I…….well a story for another day.

By Christmas eve, which happened to be the day before my parents left for shags, my bro was dating both girls. Please note somewhere in your sub-conscious memory that my bro was also dating Salome, who lived in the same estate as the other two girls and his main girlfriend, Naomi who was a daughter to a rich guy and his source of money. Also note that he only had two certificates recognised by the State: A birth certificate and the KCPE certificate. He would be eligible to get a third (the National Identification Card) in a year.

On Christmas day, Glo asked Lynn for a favour.

Kuja uniangalilie duka kuanzia saa nane. Naenda date na sitaki mathe ajue.”

Lynn was always happy to help, but she had another date at 5pm. Glo agreed to be at the shop by 5. As the two girls talked, one of them, for the first time, became wise enough to ask the other the name of her boyfriend. And even though there was no other guy with my bro’s name in the neighbourhood, the wiser of the two (who I reckon must have been Lynn because beauty and brains are correlated) still had to add this phrase after the other Glo probably said her boyfriend’s name: “Tonny wa kina {insert my name here}?” A few minutes later, two furious girls were ringing our door bells at the rate of 50 rings per minute!

Disclaimer: The above story actually happened. Whether names have or have not been changed is the least concern of the author because he will not be traced! Anyone who is interested in knowing how my bro saved himself from this one can let me know in the comments section.



9 thoughts on “3rd guest post for Christmas: The Greatrnk

  1. Pingback: Tweets that mention 3rd guest post for Christmas: The Greatrnk | Revealed -- Topsy.com

  2. arrrrggggh, why leave me in so much suspense now when I was beginning to like a story?

    Warning: the story plot is unreadable in its format and may more of the info from other sources be written or else we starve due to imagination.

  3. Pingback: The Greatrnk Appraisal | The Greatrnk

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