Does the guy always have to be 1st?


That was the question he asked me after us not speaking for like 2 days.

There is nothing I hate more than coming off as a desperate, easy, woman, I would rather die. Call it a phobia or stupid pride, but it is just something that is intrinsically within me.

I can’t figure out where it originated from.

As a result, I am very evasive, my guard is always up, and I think I play some serious mind games, probably with myself.

Initiating communication makes me feel like I am being desperate, over zealous and most of all it makes me feel very vulnerable, a sensation I detest! The vulnerability emanates from the fact that being the one breaking the silence let’s the person know that they are lodged in my thoughts, which is something I would rather keep to myself.

This has been an issue that many men have brought up, and I always feel guilty when they do so I make a bit of an effort, then I revert back to my ways without even realising it.

FYI this only happens with guys I like or whom I think may be into me. With my friends, such nonsense doesn’t matter.

With guys who seem to like me, I find it safer not to initiate conversation, encouraging them may not be the best solution me thinks.

So please let me know your 2 cents on this issue by taking part in my survey, I am sure your answers will be of great use to not only myself but to others as well.

 

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3 thoughts on “Does the guy always have to be 1st?

  1. I just took the poll, and I have lied the end! This because the answer I chose looked less psychotic than saying Men oughta blah blah… I am so guilty of waiting :o). I don’t think I will ever change and say what I wanna say when I wanna say.. which is the way to go (you know, If you are all sane and sheet ;o))

  2. you are not alone, I think I also do the same. Probably until the ground is broken even then now one can say what they want to say when they want to say regardless of the sequence. but for starters, I always wait for the guy to go first…esp if I like them…I ssssh!It’s just how it is.

    But the go-getter chics do…go first…lol – though I always deem that as desperation, isn’t the guy the one to chase? #confusee!

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