I have glorified being single to get people off my back and let them know I am doing just fine, and to a point, to also convince myself that I am perfectly okay with being alone and that there is nothing that I am loosing out on.
Today my friend sent me this eBook which says that if women act like their perfectly happy being single, men will let them continue being that way. Men is that true?! It sounds like it is true. I go around trying to justify my singledom, little do I know I am actually pushing them away without knowing it.
Apparently women can nurture men towards marriage by making them realize how much they can gain from it and why they need it in their lives. Maybe I need to realize the benefits of marriage before I can convince someone to propose jump the gun.
Let me fess up, I am really afraid of marriage and that is why I am delaying it for as long as possible. Maybe it is because I do not really know what marriage entails. I view it as pingu za maisha, a life long commitment. I know I am capable of fulfilling my commitments, but it depends on to what extent. I am not going to entertain rubbish like cheating, or domestic violence, I will have none of that. As soon as that happens I would want out immediately. And that’s the thing, marriage is meant to be a permanent union, not something you can opt out of whenever you decide. Judging by the current divorce rate of our generation, probability of divorce has definitely gone up many notches, so that is why I would rather not venture into marriage unless I am absolutely sure and positive about it. But me being the over thinker that I am, the peace of mind I would desire to have concerning marriage may never be achieved so I’d rather prolong the day I choose to jump the broom.
According to the book, the purpose of dating is to find a marriage partner. I have sadly come to that age where this statement applies. Growing pains yuck. Even the concept of viewing dating in that light scares me. I still think I am far too young to start thinking about such things while I am reviewing prospects.
The book goes on to say that:
‘If you lack a vision of marriage, you’re setting yourself up for lax sexual standards, relationships without momentum and heartache.’
‘The hope of marriage is an antidote to promiscuity.’
The book goes on to say that if you believe in Christian marriage and are working towards it, it is easier to set physical boundaries and character expectations in dating. I have set physical boundaries for myself with nothing about marriage in my mind; I am the least bit promiscuous. But they may have a point about the relationships without momentum and heartache part…
The e-book is called ‘A girls guide to marrying well.’ It’s quite insightful, and it has been an eye opener yet it has just dumped me into a state of confusion in certain matters, but be that as it may it’s a book worth getting your hands on.