Life is a party, crash it like a champion in 7 easy steps!


Wedding Crashers

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Who did not love this movie about two men who crash weddings to pick up chics?? It was hilarious!! If you did not know, weddings are a great place to meet people. The occasion requires you to dress to impress, there is free food and drinks and a great atmosphere, what’s not to like about it??

On Saturday I attended my relatives wedding at a famous hotel in the outskirts of Nairobi. It was pretty nice, but it being a family wedding, chances of meeting new people are kinda slim. The church ceremony, reception and evening party were all held at the venue which was strictly guest list only.

At the same grounds but outside at the gardens there was an Indian wedding which was taking place. The setup in a word can just be described as majestic and out of this world!! Thousands of fairy lights were draped on the grass, covered on the pillars, all over the tents, the lighting consisted of fairy lights shaped like chandeliers.

Wedding entrance

The fairy lights..

Such awesomeness cannot just be viewed from a far, my cousins and I decided we must get in on the action and experience it in real time.

Step 1: Do not be shy

We sashayed into the wedding like we had our wedding invitations in our handbags, though at the back of my mind I was thinking of some random Indian name just in case we would need to drop one. We had gotten word that there were about 1500 guest who had been invited, and the shocking thing was there was no security, or ushers or whatever. We strolled in and there was no one there to stop us.

Step 2: Act like you belong

That was a bit difficult since it seemed like all Indians in Kenya had come for the wedding, so the fact that we were Africans  made us really stand out.

It helped we had checked into the place at 9pm, and we were already dressed for a wedding so that helped us blend in a bit. But we were surrounded by gorgeous Indian women in dazzling sari’s and hot well dressed men in turbans or spiky gelled hair. I have never seen so many Indians in my life.

Step 3: Make sure there is an open bar

It does not make sense to crash a wedding without freebies, it really beats the purpose!

Open bar was the main reason we crashed the wedding but boy was that one hell of a bar!!! Damn my 2 mega pixel cellphone camera, I wish I took a picture of the bar.

It was the epitome of a well stocked bar! A wide array of drinks were lined up on the bar, not these regular drinks we are used to here like viceroy, smirnoff red label, gordon’s dry gin, ha! There was none of that.This bar was stocked with grey goose vodka, Johnny Walker black, red, green label, Mattel, Absolute Vodka, Jameson, Jack Daniels and so many other drinks which I could not remember.

One of the guests told me that each table had a bottle of Don Perignon, and like 150 of the guests had been booked for rooms at the hotel.

Step 4: Befriend the bar tender

The bartenders were all Asian, I think they had been shipped in from India with part of everything else.

We took advantage of the free alcohol and ordered whatever cocktails popped into our heads. I took a shine to cosmopolitans, and this one bartender made some really delicious ones.

Step 5: Exhaust all the freebies

The wedding had a dorman’s stand so there was free coffee on the house.

They had an ice cream dispenser so we went for enough rounds of vanilla ice cream cones.

The buffet table was operational all night and they had coated drumsticks, coated prawns, bhajia, curried chicken, of course we took a doggy bag home 🙂

Step 6: Be the life of the party

Indians really know how to party!!! Some Indian artists and a deejay had been flown in from the UK to perform at the wedding, there was even a huge stage set up decorated with hundreds of fairy lights, spotlights, and they had those pictures of hindu gods and what not.

The stage

I love dancing and I dragged my cousins to the dance floor to unleash some bhangra moves. It was so much fun : ) Where do Indians party because I really want in!

Make sure you have fun, and enjoy yourself.

Step 7: Mingle with other guests

Okay so I did not really excel in this arena, being the only black people was kinda intimidating. But I had met some Indian guy before I crashed the wedding party who had been asking for directions, next thing I know the dude was performing on stage!! I was super jazzed cheap thrills and I got to speak to him after the show.

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We left the wedding after 3 am after the music was switched off. It was quite the experience and I doubt I will ever get to witness such a spectacular wedding ever again!!

With these 7 steps, wedding crashing and crashing any other party will get much easier, I dare you to give it a try.

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8 thoughts on “Life is a party, crash it like a champion in 7 easy steps!

  1. You forgot to say what dudes should do to emulate Michael Owen and Vince Vaughn to the very end 🙂

    Seems Indians can really throw a party when they do weddings.

  2. Wow, that wedding sounds out of this world! Ati they had even flown in Indian artistes from the UK??!! People have money I tell you…

    • Trust me that’s not all, they had already had another wedding ceremony in Birmingham, and a 14 day wedding celebration in Nairobi!!! Life’s not fair I tell you!

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