What if…


Fate:  the universal principle or ultimate agency by which the order of things is presumably prescribed (dictionary.com)

Do I believe in fate?? I dunno, kinda. I believe that some things were meant to be, and others were not. I believe that things happen for a reason. I also believe God has a plan for me, and whatever his will is, it will eventually be done. This is how i console myself whenever things do not pan out or go as planned, and it is very comforting by the way.

Let it be known that I do not believe in people being destined to be together forever and all that nonsense gag I do not think there is one man out there who was created just for me, it would be kinda nice, but what if I do not like the person fate has chosen for me??

There are men who I come across in life, who I get to know, then for some reason we lose touch, but not for bad reasons, just life’s circumstances. So I usually think there is unfinished business so I cannot help but wonder what if…

I am a very inquisitive person, and sometimes curiosity gets the best of me. I am sure it is just the case of the one who got away, but I still cannot help but leave a window open to see what is going to end up happening the next time I come across the one who got away.

The person I am referring to now did not get away, because he was never mine in the first place. Of course I wanted him to be from the moment I met him, infatuation would be the best way to describe how I felt. Thank God for all this pride that I have because I would have surely made a colossal fool of myself!

After a lot of non pro-activity, hot and coldness, I finally just woke up and smelt the coffee and got over it! It was not worth the effort and all my energies. My biggest issue was the confusion, I could never tell where we stood and there was no way I would/will ever ask.

We recently got in touch again, and I went in fully amoured, telling myself that I am over him, and the infatuation will not show it’s ugly head again. It has not resurfaced or I hope it has not but the confusion is definitely still there.

???

I recently realized that I may claim to be over him, but I may never fully be until all hopes of anything ever happening are crushed and burnt! But he never dashes those hopes!!! He inadvertently or sometimes on purpose keeps giving me fake promises of pudding remember facebook superlatives?

He even invaded my dreams last night! Is there no escape?!

I need to know if he is cancerous for me to go get the necessary chemotherapy for him to be totally expelled from my system. How to get this important knowledge is the question.  I may not even need to find this out if I find someone else to distract me from all this nonsense. That strategy definitely worked the first time with excellent results.

There are other people I have unfinished business with, but no need to divulge in that until they come back into the picture.

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