What’s on my mind?

There is nothing scarier than wanting something for so long, then finally getting it, but not completely and only for a short period of time.  The fear is in getting what you want and it was not what you expected, or worse still, it is better than you could have ever possibly imagined. In my case it is a catch 22 seeing that both scenarios are worst case scenarios sigh.

I must admit that it is nice having someone else contributing to my happiness. It is a breath of fresh air, surprising, and amazing each and every time. But let us not jump the gun, anything can happen in the next fortnight, and I am already terrified of what may come. As for now I will bask in this new found attention and revel in it because I know circumstances will not let it last long.

I was having this discussion with some friends about married men who stray. Someone mentioned how married men have nothing to lose when it comes to chasing women.  They will give it a shot and if the woman is not responsive, it is onto the next one or back to the regular one aka the wife.  This is the same wife who has worked hard at training him on how to be a good man and how to cater to a woman’s needs. Then he takes these lessons and goes and practices them on someone else.

It is not a good thing when you find yourself questioning things that you should not.

Sometimes it is good to watch what you say, always.

If you go looking for things you will find it. I know this yet sometimes curiosity gets the best of me and I find myself looking.

Social media is a very powerful tool when it comes to studying peoples habits. It is amazing some of the things that I pick up on, and my suspicions end up being spot on.

I heard that the best relationships started off as friendships, judging from my past relationships, which failed, I started thinking maybe there could be some truth to this. But then a friend of mine tried crossing the line, I do not know if the alcohol instigated it, but I know for sure things may never be the same again. At least with strangers if things do not work out you can just kick them out of your life and recover, but with a friend, you have lost more than a companion me thinks.

I miss my friend, saddest thing is I have adjusted to not having him in my life and it doesn’t feel right at all.

I am at a cross roads when it comes to what I do, I am so confused about where I am, where I am going and what I want to do. Hopefully things will become clear soon.

I feel like I am being smothered, I need some space, do not just attach yourself to me, give me some time to miss you damn it!

Something that got me thinking….

 

 

P.U.S.H.

I have a prayer journal which I started from 2009 during my Mizizi classes. I try my best to write in it everyday, though not much on weekends because I get distracted and forget. I find it is a good way to truly focus on my communication with God, and really think about what it is that I am praying for. The bad part about it is, I have a record of all the things I prayed for that went unanswered. There was something I prayed for every single day since for like 3 months. I am really trying to rationalize why those prayers went unanswered, or maybe luck of an answer was the answer I needed? I do not know. For now I will not let it discourage me from keeping on praying.

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I wrote this yesterday, and today I came across this:

The most significant outcome of prayer is not to get answers to our problems, but to experience God.

and this:

Romans 8:26-27 ‘And the holy spirit helps us in our distress. For we do not even know what we should pray for, nor how we should pray. But the holy spirit prays for us with groanings  that cannot be expressed in words. And the father who knows all hearts knows what the spirit is saying, for the spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will.’

Philippians 4:6-7 ‘Do not be anxious about anything but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God and the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Jesus Christ.’

So now when I pray I will try and experience God, even though to be honest I do not fully understand how that will happen, but I will be very alert and see if I can feel his presence.

There are also so many people to pray for, so as you read this, just know I am remembering you in my prayers.

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In other news, I am feeling melancholic today for no apparent reason, I blame it on being a girl even if it is not even that time of the month. Here is to a brighter hump day.

Candy and Kisses,

 

 

Of life and things…

I had a very interesting weekend, filled with lottsa dancing, awkward moments, music, fun, it was epic in it’s own way.  The awkward moments were plenty, but I eventually got through them.

Nairobi is too small for it’s own good, we have been reduced to 3 degrees of separation. Everyone is someone’s ex, and eventually someone’s next.

The best solution seems to be, to stay away from these people before they get you into trouble. If trouble grabs you and tries to dance with you, run away quick fast!

If there is something I realized this weekend was how fast things change between people. I have mentioned enough times how much I hate change.  There were some people I was so comfortable with, but now it is kinda weird and with someone else we are practically like strangers. The latter is the main problem, how we have come to this, given where we started out is just sad. I keep making progress, then taking like 5 steps backward. I cannot wait for things to just be normal again, to not feel a thing.

God truly is amazing, he sends people to me who make me happy when I am feeling down.

Sometimes I wonder, women understand each other, and men get each other as well. Doesn’t this mean that gay people must have the easiest relationships since they are from the same gender and they understand each other?

I wish life did not revolve around the interaction between men and women. I want to define and determine my own happiness.

4 years ago, if we had a conversation about relationships I would have told you love does not exist, all men are punks et al. My sentiments have definitely changed thus far, not all men are punks or I hope they are not. As for love, I still wonder about it. The men who have claimed to love me had their own warped ways of showing it, so as a result I am back to not believing in it. I now also question my ability to express love, I am generally not an emotional, lovey dovey person. Long story short, I am not eliminating the thought of welcoming love into my life, it will now just take a while for me to warm up to the idea of it, after determining whether the opposite person is 100% sure about how they feel.

Yeah, I am not in a good place right now when it comes to how I feel about myself, which is really sad when I come to think of it. I like myself for who I am, I am just not sure whether other people will accept the real me, with my awesomeness and imperfections. Feel free to jump in and declare how much I rock now.

I have also come to realize that for me this blog is just to air out my thoughts and shove the stuff I love down your throats, but to some people my blog posts helps them in some way. Who knew my mindless jibber jabber can actually be of good use?

 

 

 

7 more things to love about me

So Miss Kawiria graciously tagged me in another post and now I have to come up with 7 quirky, cool things about myself which will entertain you and wow you with my awesomeness.

• I received a blood transfusion when I was a kid. I once heard somewhere if you have ever received blood you cannot donate? This cannot be true right? On the same note, I have never donated blood, not because of the reason I have just stated, I dunno I have just never done it before. But it’s something I must do very soon, it’s only fair…
• I pee a lot. I even went to get checked out by a doctor, but apparently it’s my body being healthy and what not.
• I also do not like people hearing what I am doing in the bathroom. I find it embarrassing and I really wish bathroom stalls could be made sound and smell proof.
• The one thing I love the most about my body is my face. Though stupid zits are threatening to scar it, I think it’s not too shabby.
• I love butterflies, not as much as Mariah Carey, that woman is obsessed. I just like butterfly jewellery, designs and if I was ever to get a tattoo, it most probably would be of a butterfly.
• I am not a fan of Vanilla. Not that I hate it, it’s nice and all, but it is so bland. I do not understand why you would pick vanilla when there is such a wide assortment of flavours with much more razzle dazzle.
• I am a very observant person. I will notice your new threads, new hairdo, how you pair your outfits. I can tell you what you wore every day last week. I remember the last thing you wore when I last saw you. I am not only observant when it comes to physical appearances, but behavioural patterns as well. I cannot really expound on the behavioural bit but it is largely based on social networks and social habits.

Let us see whether Savvy, I am Surburbia, I just said that, Rockhead, My turkish delight, Skewed lines and Vaalentia can top that Tag you’re it!!

Kisses and oreos,

Personal Ad: Selling yourself

I think there is a thin line between selling yourself and bragging. How do you portray yourself in a spectacular light without coming off as a braggart?

I do not think I would put up a dating ad, because most of the stuff I would spew on there would be what I know would be what you want to hear. Intrinsically that is the whole point of advertising, but I would prefer wowing you with things you would never expect, instead of having to conform to the traits I claimed to have in the ad.

Same thing applies for my blog, you may have noticed I rarely publicise my blog, and I disable my sharing buttons. I let my posts speak for themselves, and rely on you loyal readers to spread the word on my behalf. Seeing that Revealed is almost clocking 75,000 hits, you guys have done a good job, big up yourselves

As for twitter, I let my personality speak for itself and say whatever it is on my mind. Facebook on the other hand is totally about vanity.

An opportunity has presented itself precipitating the need for me to really sell myself dynamically in order for me to get what I want.

I honestly do not believe in using my looks to sell myself. Do not get it twisted, I am very beautiful if I do say so myself notice how that comes off like I am full of myself, thin line I tell you..

I prefer being creative in how I portray my intelligence and my abilities. I would never like to be stereotyped as one of those women who use their looks to achieve what they want. I would much rather prove myself by being diligent and let my actions speak for itself.

I need to be touched by an ingenious idea as soon as possible (o.O)

Free the Fail Whale

Yesterday I was watching tv, and I spotted a whale, and the first thing I thought about was the fail whale. I immediately started feeling apprehensive and pissed off, as if twitter was experiencing problems.

Twitter has turned an extinct creature into a pop culture that is not necessarily welcomed with warm feelings.

Save the whale

Before I used to see whales and think of Jonah’s story from the bible, or think about how I’d love to be on their breathing hole when they gush the water out, but now things have changed…

Murdered fail whale

Many people really want the fail whale to die! There is nothing as irritating as twitter being down, it feels like your whole world is on pause, that you cannot really speak or do anything because twitter is inaccessible. So all that pent up anger is directed at the poor whale, and it isn’t even his fault. We should be blaming the makers of tweeter, and free the whale ftw.

FTW

Clearly it would be far much happier

The artist behind the fail whale is Yiying Lu who drew it as a token to her friends overseas, she called it ‘Lifting the dreamer’. Check out her interview with mashable here

DIY ~ Do It Yourself

DIY posts for those who may not know, are posts showing people how to make different things rather than having to go out and buying them. I love DIY blogs because I love making stuff so I am always on the look out for them. Here are a few of my favorite DIY blogs

Ms Marley

I stumbled upon this uber cool blog, which is not in English so I  have no idea what she writes about but the pictures speak for itself. Marley is what seems to be a Lady Gaga inspired diva who is very gorgeous and extremely talented!! Her creativity is outta this world.

A pair of sequined leggings and open toed heels

and Marley transforms them to…

Fabulous pair of boots

photos courtesy of Ms Marley brilliants.

Love Maegan

This was one of the first DIY blogs that I discovered!! Maegan Tintari is inspired by current fashion and shows you cheaper and creative ways of making stuff that’s in style now, with affordable and readily available material. She’s been featured in many fashion magazines, and her gratuitous outfits are something to look out for.

From curtain tiebacks

to this spectacular rope necklace

photos courtesy of www.lovemaegan.com

Ruffles and stuff

This blog made me want a sewing machine. We used to have like 3 of them but they got stolen Like the name suggests it involves many ruffles, and flowers, I think the bloggers daughter does not own any store-bought clothes.

Jewellery DIY

photo courtesy of Ruffles and stuff

Chef Yourself

I discovered this blog on my dashboard, one of word presses fastest growing blogs. Who does not love anything food related?? There are some great recipes on here and amazing pictures that just leave your mouth watering.

Beef Pita

photo courtesy of Chef it yourself

So those are the DIY blogs I really like, I would love to do a DIY post, but my camera and I are no longer in a relationship, it needs to much attention that I am not willing to give :p

But I do promise to write one some day soon.

Inspired by pictures..

Ballooons

I do not know why, but balloons have really been on my mind today. They do not mean anything to me really, but I’ve just been wanting to look at pictures of them. I would love to inhale helium and get that chipmunk voice :p

slurp

A soft serve creamy cone would really hit the spot right about now

Art

photo credit

Isn’t this just an amazing piece of art?! I’ve been an artsy person since I was a kid, Art & Craft was one of my favorite subjects, only when it came to the practical side of it. I liked drawing, and I am kinda good at drawing by observation but not out of my head. I think I am also drawn to artsy people, I just find them cool, and it’s interesting engaging them in matters of creativity. I would also love to be someone’s muse…

What do you see?

.....

So true for tons of single people out there who do not kiss the same person constantly…

Is this the cover art for Kanye's single??

I hate having power over people, it’s creepy. It make’s me wonder if you have no control over your own actions or decisions. I really do not enjoy having people bend over backwards just to please me. Make me convince you, do not hurl yourself over a cliff just because I told you to jump. Think about it first, resist even! Another reason I do not like having power over people is because I also have no clue what it is I am doing, or asking you to do! I may be making terrible mistakes or errors and your just following my lead smh.

More than friends??

No I am not falling for my friend or vice versa. It’s just something I thought I would write about after indulging in reruns of Friends. 

Can men and women be just platonic??? 

Frovers

 

photocredits  

That is an age old question which has been debated upon for years and years. But who can give us the right answer really??? 

I am sure everyone has a different opinion on this. My two cents is, it really depends on the people involved. We all may have different friends with whom we have different relationships with. 

My male friends are categorised into two: just friends and prospects. I have had enough bored moments to analyse all of them and determine whether i’d consider crossing the friend zone or not with them. The criteria used in this selection is determined by your looks, your mannerisms, how we relate with each other, and of course the type of person you are. 

I do believe it is possible for men and women to be just friends, but mostly with people they are not attracted to. The thing about attraction though, is it can at times appear from nowhere so it really is unpredictable. 

I think it also depends on some traits that are intrinsically in us as men and women. Men are visual people and if they notice things they find visually stimulating from their female friends, maybe things might change??  As for women, we are more in tune with our emotional side so chances of getting emotionally attached to a friend can happen. 

Are the best relationships derived from existing friendships?? 

Is what you know better than something new and fresh that you have no idea about?? Personally I have never dated a friend, I do not know if I would to because I think once you cross that line you can never go back, things will change forever. Things may turn out well if your lucky the whole living happily ever after and what not thing or things could turn out badly and you not only lose a partner but a friend.  

Of course dating a friend has some major perks. There are no games because you already know each other inside out so there is no need for pretending. Things are laid back and relaxed, jitters are a bit less. 

On the flip side, the familiarity may also be to your detriment. There might be less effort on both sides to for example dress to impress, take you to fancy places, it may be difficult to change the habits or routines you had as friends though it really may not be necessary to change them. 

Nairobi dating scene

Hot date

Last week I decided to accompany my friend to a surprise birthday party in the outskirts of kilimani. So we went there wit a couple of dudes, and it turned out that we had gotten the day wrong, there was no party at all imagine!

Anyhu we decided to sit and have a couple of drinks and we ended up having a great time and awesome conversation. The dudes we were with had some very interesting stories and points of view about women and dating.

Apparently women have this really bad habit of dragging their friends to their dates, and as a result the dude has to cater to his date plus her entourage. even though he had only budgeted for two. The guy really does not have an option because the way to a woman’s heart is through impressing her friends. So if he finds her at a club he may have to buy all her friends a round, or drop her and all her friends home even though they all live in different corners of Nairobi lol.

Okay personally, I have never pulled such a stunt. I already get weirded out when the bill comes and the dude has to pay for me, now include my other friends as well? My conscience would not be able to handle it, and I’d feel like I owe him a whole lot.

But I get why some women do this, they may want their friends to check the guy out, or just back up incase the date goes wrong, I dunno. But I do  think it is not fair pulling such stunts on your date, so if your a chic who does this a lot, just reduce. Go for the date solo as was intended, and pick out some other time for your friends to check the guy out.

So one of the guys we were chatting with said how he hates it when he takes a girl out for lunch or dinner and she barely eats. Well, I must confess I am one of those girls. Dates totally freak me out, I get nervous and I loose my appetite so I rarely ask for much. I am satisfied with a soda yes I am a cheap date

The latest dating trend in Nairobi according to those guys is taking a girl out to Westlands and buying her drinks at  Bacchus! Is this really what dating has become? Going to Westy and getting drunk? okay both of you will most likely fool around after getting smashed but what happened to originality?!

People like going on movie dates but can those really be classified as dates? Listening to other people talk from the big screen? Feeling uncomfortable during sex scenes? Squirming while the couple next to you make out like mad? Not really getting to speak?

Java, Dormans, The Mug, and various other coffee shops and food courts are making a killing because that seems to be the ideal spot for dates. They are cool places, kinda pricey though, and predictable.

Creativity is what is lacking in the dating game. It is always the rhumba, Java, the movies. People need to do more picnics. Speaking of, have you noticed how packed Uhuru Gardens gets, even on weekdays? I heard guys go there to do the nasty, I must go confirm those suspicions lol.

Anyway here are a few dating ideas.

• Why not go GP Karting in Langatta next to splash? It costs 1000 Kshs for like 15 minutes which is like 10 laps on the tracks.
• You can go to the shooting range at the Yatch Club after Langatta shopping Centre. 20 rounds bullets costs 200 Kshs.
• There is ice skating at Panari Centre for I think 800 Kshs for an hour.
• If you feel like embracing your inner youth, you can go to amusement parks like Rims Club in langatta, Lunar Park, Rock City in Kiambu where a ride is only 50 to 100 Kshs.
• If you need some time to talk, why not take a walk at the national park Safari Walk? I think it goes for 100 – 200 Kshs.
• Why not go on a group date and go paintballing at Rolf’s Place off Kitengela? 100 pellets cost 1000 Kshs
• Organise a trip to Sagana and go white water rafting or bunjee jumping if you dare (dont have the prices for that though)
• Bowling at Cosmic’s at the Village Market.
• Go for a boat ride at Mamba Village, or go feed crocodiles and look at Ostriches there. There are also giraffes ate Giraffe Centre in Karen.
• All you can eat buffet at Spurs Holiday Inn Westlands and Village Market at 1200 Kshs per person.
• This Sunday 28th November, you can pack up a picnic basket and go for Blankets & Wine at Teyana stables somewhere near Windsor. I think a ticket goes for 1000 Kshs

Those are just a few of my suggestions, some may sound corny but it’s good to make an effort and you may get rewarded

Something else that seemed to trouble these boys was this new notion of how all women are now gold diggers.

I will marry the woman who offers to pay the bill!!

I thought one of the main roles of a man was to provide?? according to Steve Harvey Personally I would not mind splitting the bill or paying for it  but not all the time. I think men just need to be sure when they are selecting the venue of the date, and women should also be aware of the guys current financial status and be considerate of their pockets So women woiye just treat your men sometimes but dont make them zoea lol

photo credits and food for thought from here

How to succeed on a first date

xxx V xxx