In majority of popular publications that women love to read like; Cosmopolitan, Marie Claire, Vogue, True Love etc, you will never lack articles about ‘How to catch him and keep him’ , ‘How to find your prince charming’, ‘How to make him fall in love with you’, I am sure you are familiar with all of these articles.
They are mostly about how women can find the perfect man, and keep him, and learn to please him and make him happy. They make it seem like the optimum goal of a woman is to have a man. Okay fine, God wants us to procreate and fill the earth, be that as it may, does it really have to be our primary focus?!
Don’t you wonder why you never find such articles in magazines targeted for men like Men’s Health, talking about ‘How to attract the perfect wife’, ‘She’s not that into you’ and all that crap. Men never have time to buy, let alone read about such nonsense.
I decided it is time to switch things up and give women information they can actually make use of. Okay, maybe I am not doing this for the greater good of womanhood I have some rhymes :) This is actually for my own good, a guideline to keep me focused on myself, and not get distracted by men. I thought I should share it with the world. It may help some woman somewhere, or give some man something to use against me :p
Disclaimer: I may not be going through all of these scenarios, they are things I have picked up from my experiences, other peoples experiences and TV the source of all our knowledge
Step 1: Forget him
If your single, it must mean you have just gotten out of something be it a fling or relationship. It may have ended badly, or amicably, but I am sure despite how hard you have tried, you cannot get that man out of your head. Here are a few suggestions on how to remove him from your system detox:
- Delete his number, write it down in your physical address book for future reference. This is to avoid weak situations which will lead you into temptation like boredom, drunk dialling etc. You can save it again when you are stronger.
- You have 2 choices. You can either deactivate your account on Facebook, or remove him as a friend. This is to curb the menace known as Facebook Stalking. I know you will be tempted to find out if he is miserable without you or if he has moved on swiftly, or just stare at his picture because you miss him. If your still on good times with that guy, deactivating is the better option because I am sure removing him as a friend will just bring beef, and you do not need anymore stress now do you?
- Still on Facebook, if you were listed as ‘in a relationship with xyz’ that was a dumb idea by the way remove that status ASAP. Make sure you’re the first one to do it so that you do not come off looking like the dumpee cheap thrills . Keep in mind that there is an option to remove that story from your news feed, thus the whole world will not find out about it and bombard you with many dumb questions. The wisest thing to do is to remove that whole relationship status field from your profile.
- Get rid of everything that reminds you of him. If his stuff is still at your place, put it in a box and either burn them, give them back, donate them to charity, sell them or store them on those high closets far far away. If you walk around with a camera like I do and you have a ton of pics, burn them in a CD, and bury them or take it upcountry and leave it there.
Step 2: Stay away from him
- If you live together come we sin move out now!
- If you work together that was such a terrible idea I am sure you must have thought ahead as to what you will do if shit happens, well the shit has happened, put your head up, and treat him like any other colleague. But stay away from him during the Christmas party.
- If you used to go to church together, seat somewhere else, go for a different service or if worst comes to worst, go to another church.
- I am sure you know his routines like where he goes shopping, where he gyms, where he works, where he clubs, try your best to stay away from those places to reduce the chances of bumping into him.
Step 3:Forgive him
Now that you have time away from him, take the time to get over him, and the end of the fling, relationship or whatever. Get the whole experience out of your system, make peace with it, forgive him, forgive yourself and move on.
Step 4: Learn from the experience
This experience will uncover stuff you may not have known about yourself, so this is a learning point where you get to discover your strengths and weaknesses. Take note and take this as an opportunity to develop yourself as a person.
Step 5: Mend broken bridges
When women get into new relationships/fling, some have this terrible habit of focusing on those men, and neglecting their family and friends.
Boyfriends come and go, but your family and friends will always be there for you.
So if you know your one of those chics, take the time to get re-acquainted with all the people you ‘dissed’ and reassure them you will not neglect them when the next man comes along.
Step 6: Learn to enjoy your own company
Women who have just come out of serious relationships find it hard to adjust to the single life. They had become accustomed to being taken care of, pampered, and their needs always being catered to. Well, you are now single, the only person who will do those things for you are yourself wake up and smell the coffee honey
Take care of yourself, treat yourself, go out on a shopping spree, go to a spa, go for a retreat. You may have gotten used to doing activities for couples, but you now have a chance to do things solo. It’s not so bad, give it a go.
If your really yearning for some company, call your friends, your family and kick it with them. I repeat, they will always be there for you :)
Step 7: Keep off sticky situations
Not really sticky situations, I just lacked a better title. By situations, I mean, if you have decided your off relationships for a while, stay away from places where you will be tempted to start something up.
Maybe I am not articulating what I am trying to say so I will be specific.
It’s like men seem to have radar for vulnerable women, and that’s when they hit you with their best stuff. You on the other hand, will be too amazed to see right through them. So stay away from clubs and raves, that’s where the hyenas are looking for their prey. The clubbing scene has really accelerated the chips fungaing phenomenon. Let this fast food culture die!
Of course there is alcohol panty removers as the series Shugaa coined it which just releases your inhibitions and weakens your senses. This paired with the hyena’s will enlist you in a loosing battle.
Step 8: Seek alternative sources of attention
Women crave attention, we kinda thrive on it God know’s why. Of course the best source is from a man, who is ready to tell you anything you want to hear, which is mostly lies, or exaggerated truths.
Seek attention from people who tell you the truth, like your guy friends, your father, your relatives. That’s an honest source of attention, which will only lead to positive results, and no one expects anything in return, or gets hurts.
Step 9: Get Busy
Distract yourself and get busy for you know what they say ‘An idle mind is the devils workshop’.
Immerse yourself in your job and give it your all. Enroll for your masters, get a new hobby, join a gym, take a dance class, buy a dog that you can carry around in your purse :)
If your preoccupied focusing on yourself, you will not have time to lead yourself into temptation.
You are not obligated to follow the steps in chronological order, or to follow them at all, but I am sure there are a few things on here that can help you. If not, I hope you were entertained, because I had a blast writing this post I must say.
So here is to a happy single you and me :) Cheers!